The Candlelighting Ceremony
The candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage. It is magical
because it represents the light of two people in love.
This candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two
people working together to keep it a flame.
This candle is also a candle of unity because both must come together
giving spark of themselves, to create the new light.
As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout
your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness; warmth and
safety in the cold; and strength and joy in your bodies, minds, and spririt.
May your union be forever blessed.
SAND CEREMONY
I have before me on this table, three containers of sand. One of them represents the power of love, upon which this relationship is built. One is the color green which represents not only ________ , but also the color of growth — so that the love that is shared by ________ and ____________ continues to grow.
The white sand represents _________, and the light and joy that has been so evident in their relationship from the beginning.
As I pour the rose colored sand into the jar, this represents the foundation of love which is the basis for a strong marriage.
Next, I will ask ________ to pour in some of his green sand to represent his own individual identity which he brought to this relationship. And now I will ask _________ to do the same. We now have created three distinct layers of sand in this container.
The container itself is the relationship — for it is greater than either ___________ or ________ and without the container of the relationship, there can be no union. It is made of glass, and it is fragile. It can shatter. So it is incumbent upon the two of them to care for the relationship, even over their own individual needs.
Now that they have said their vows to one another, I will ask that they each pour their sand into the container together, blending the two colors. You will notice that there is still the integrity of the color of each grain of sand, but they are joined together in a union that brings them close together in the intimate bond of marriage.
As I pour the rose sand over the top, let it signify the shelter of love that enfolds them each and every day of their lives together.
First Rose Ceremony: |
Marriage is a coming together of two lives, and a celebration of the love of two people. But it is more. The love that you feel for one another is the flowering of a seed your mothers planted in your hearts many years ago. When you were first born, you were a bundle of diapers and tears, and your mothers lost sleep caring for you. Their love for you has brought them great happiness and great challenges, and their love did not diminish as they met these challenges. That is the great lesson you can bring into your marriage. As you embrace one another in your love, so too do you embrace the families which have been brought together on this happy occasion. As a token of your gratitude for your families, I would like to ask you to offer these symbols of eternal love, these roses, to your mothers. (Both bride and groom can hand the roses to each mother together, offering the mothers kisses if they wish.)
Ceremony of the Wine Cup
The years of our lives are as a cup of wine poured out for us to drink. The cup of life contains within it the sweet wine of happiness, joy, hope, and delight. This same cup, at times, holds the bitter wine of sorrow, grief, and despair. Those who drink deeply of life invite the full range of experiences into their being. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate, have become one vessel into which all your sorrows and joys, all your hopes and fears, will be poured, and from which you will receive mutual sustenance. Many days you will sit at the same table and eat and drink together. Drink now, and may the cup of your lives be full to running over.
Water, stone, sand – community blessing
I have not seen/heard the sand ritual (would love to get a copy as well), but Rev. Sunday did a beautiful water ritual for my wedding in 2002 that is copied below. Seems it could be modified for a sand blessing. It also incorporated a community blessing.
Steve and I also modified it for my sister’s wedding to incorporate both the water and the candle lighting ritual while Steve sang the song “Candle on the Water” (see below)
Enjoy,
Rev Mary Kay
COMMUNITY BLESSING:
Now I would like to invite all present here today to partake in a special ritual. This is an opportunity to provide a symbol for Mary Kay and Steve to take with them, to put into
their home, so that every time they look at it, it will serve as a reminder of this beautiful moment.
You will see behind me a bowl filled with water and stones. The bowl represents the container that holds Steve and Mary Kay’s marriage. Inside the water represents the Ever
Present Spirit, the Loving Essence of God. The two containers on either side of the bowl represent Steve and Mary Kay. As you will notice, these containers are full, for Mary Kay and Steve are complete as they are. They do not bring a container that is half full, hoping to be fulfilled by someone else in marriage. They each, as individuals, are complete. And they are complete in Spirit, the same loving Essence that is in their marriage, as the water represents.
Submerged in Spirit are the stones that represent the many blessings we bestow upon Mary Kay and Steve today. Now in a minute, Mary Kay and Steve will step forward, take their full containers, and pour them into the Spirit of this marriage, symbolically expanding their experience of Spirit. While they do this, I request that everyone simply speak out a word of blessing, a quality that will be represented by one of these stones. Speak out randomly, showering Mary Kay and Steve with your blessings.
So, let us close our eyes for a moment. Open your heart and let the quality come forth that you most desire Mary Kay and Steve to experience in their marriage. As we open our eyes,
begin to speak out loud your blessing as Mary Kay and Steve come forth to pour the water.
Don’t be shy!
CANDLE/WATER CEREMONY
Kary and Kevin move behind Table, Leticia helps with dress, Steve stands
In this special moment of time, as you stand before each other, truly committed, filled with joy and love, notice the candles before Kary and Kevin. The two candles beside the bowl represent the individuals lives of Kary and Kevin. Each one is a light unto themselves and to each other.
Contained in the vessel is water. Water is the symbol of Spirit, that ever present nature in which we float through our lives. It is the substance of all life, that which flows through each one of us as well.
Within the water are beautiful glass stones. Each one represents the experiences of Kevin and Kary’s lives. Each one individual with its own shape, color, and little inconsistency. Hearts, colors. Like our lives, each experience is a blessing, as it is surrounded by and immersed in Spirit.
The candle that floats upon the water represents two things. The coming together of two lives, to be joined together in love. It also represent the light that Kary and Kevin are to each other, shining ever so brightly, showing each other the way of love.
Kary and Kevin, May your lights always shine for each other, and as the song that you have chosen says, “Be the candle upon the water†for each other, the light that shines into any darkness that may pass through your lives, and paint a ray of hope around each other, and never let each other go.
Kary and Kevin light the individual candles, pause and then together light the floating candle as Steve plays “Candle on the Waterâ€
Candle on the Water
I’ll be your candle on the water
My love for you will always burn
I know you were lost and drifting
But the clouds are lifting
Don’t give up you have somewhere to turn
I’ll be your candle on the water
Til ev’ry wave is warm and bright
My soul is there beside you
Let this candle guide you
Soon you’ll see a golden stream of light
When a cold and friendless tide has found you
Don’t let the stormy darkness pull you down
I’ll paint a ray of hope around you
Circling in the air lighted by a prayer
I’ll be your candle on the water
This flame inside of me will grow
Keep holding on, you’ll make it
Here’s my hand so take it
Look for me reaching out to show as sure as
rivers flow
I’ll never let you go
I’ll never let you go
I’ll never let you go