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#98.411200 From Toni Lamotta, Thu Apr 16 at 8:34p:
I invite you all to join me now in a symbolic toast, L’Chaim, Connie – to
LIFE.
Through all she suffered, through all she endured, she probably had the
chance to prepare her funeral more than anyone I know. But, through it all,
Connie wasn’t dying. She had a lust for life. She was an inspiration –
showing us LIFE – her message was to enjoy LIFE fully.
Born Oct. 23, 1943 to Josie & Joe LaMotta, her dad was in the service for
her first two years and she knew him only through the mailman. When she
began to speak, one of her sentences was “any mail from my dad?”
On weekends, either Uncles Charley took 3 buses to take her to Brooklyn or
Jenny took the train to bring her to Staten Island – and in both places, she
was the only girl child, much adored.
While mom was at work, she was raised by our grandmother, Connie #1 – and we
all knew she was #1. One of our many family stories of our broken
conversations – since grandma spoke only Italian, and Connie, very little –
was when she sent Connie to the store for pazalene. For those who don’t
know Italian, she was asking for “parsley”. Connie, feeling certain she
understood, proudly came home with a jar of Vaseline!
Her cousins and sister remember holidays where she directed our make shift
plays in our family basement – telling us in no uncertain terms when to sing
and dance on cue!
Connie clearly had a mind of her own – and she wasn’t afraid to share it
with Pope or pauper. At the age of one, she put her foot in her birthday
cake, and the people in Joe’s deaconate class say she had her foot in her
mouth frequently since!. Still, they made her an honorary member of the
class of ’83 for attending more classes than most of them. Connie can truly
be called the first woman deacon!
Connie was REAL – when she disagreed, you knew it. She saw things as black
and white, and had no room for gray. But, when she agreed, you knew that
too. She loved deeply and was passionate about everything she did. She
never did anything half- heartedly. So, if she said something, you knew she
meant it!
Joe proposed to Connie after 5 years of dating & he tells me that he slipped
the ring on her finger in a dark alley by her house. (I wonder what else
they did there?) Joe put the ring on the wrong hand – and from then on,
Connie began to give him directions.
She met Joe when he was 19 and she was only 16, at a bazaar at St. Francis
Xavier’s. Little did they know then that so much of their lives would
revolve around the Church.
Twenty-four years ago, they went to Bishop Sheridan, who was then pastor of
Holy Rosary and said, “Let us know if there is anything we can ever do to
help!” They were never without work since – and never without the blessings
of support that came with it. They were involved in the Church’s Baptismal
program, Family ministry and RENEW. They both attended a Cursillo and were
active in the Charismatic Renewal.
Many of you were probably right here twenty-one years ago on that Thursday
night in the pouring rain when Connie was being operated on for an aneurysm
on her brain. She was given a 1% chance to survive. Connie & Joe had
gotten involved with Marriage Encounter just three months before – and it
was to have a profound effect on their lives up to this day. The witness of
the faith and support from the Marriage Encounter community will remain in
all our memory.
The next 10 years were a struggle for recovery. She met each step with
Strength… Many people I spoke to this week and asked what they would say
about Connie, mentioned her Strength. One person suggested that strength
wasn’t strong enough – the word that described her was FORTITUDE – and
always – there was FAITH.
Through this time, she showed a great deal of unselfishness and became a
volunteer – bringing communion to nursing homes – and teaching others to
read, when she was just re-learning herself.
Many people I spoke to said their fondest memories about Connie centered
around the time of her adopting Michelle. I personally remember the day
with much joy. Michelle came to join our family in the weeks before
Christmas. The experience with her was so good that Connie and Joe decided
to do it again, and two years later came home with Joey, who many remember
as the longest bundle they had ever seen. He too came to join us at
Christmas time.
She seemed to choose Christmas time as her time of greatest joys and deepest
pains. Christmas is – after all – the day we most celebrate LIFE.
Connie never let her illness stop her from fully living. She loved to
travel and did so extensively. One of her favorite stories took place on
their trip to Hawaii, where after the other 6-8 people with her got out, she
was left in the elevator of a 20 story building. Each of them went up and
down the floors, calling, where are you, Connie? When they were all finally
united, Connie began her contagious giggle. So many of us shared so many
laughs with her. Even the therapist who worked with her during the most
difficult years of her recovery, sent a letter to Joe staying that through
all her difficulty, she always found reason to laugh.
She traveled to both coasts, from Maine to Florida, St. Thomas, Aruba,
Jamaica, the Panama Canal and most recently to Lourdes – ever believing,
ever hoping. On this recent trip, her only worry was that the airlines
would stop her and accuse her of smuggling drugs!
But, of all the places she traveled, her favorite place to be – the place
where she went to be refreshed and re energized for the past 5 years – was
Cape Cod. She seemed to leave her illness back in the Bronx whenever she
went there. So many of us share stories of whale watching, bike riding and
falling off (OOPS – don’t tell Joe!) and getting lost while carrying a huge
pot of mums and walking over 7 miles.
The dearest travel story that Joe told me, was on a trip to Lake Minnewaka,
when they were hiking on the trails. She looked at Joe and said, “look –
look how pretty. ” “What?”, he asked, for he didn’t see anything. “There”.
She was pointing to MOSS!! This is so symbolic of what she taught us. She
saw beauty where we all might see only plainness.
When someone recently said to her, “I wish the Dr. could have helped you to
live longer.” She responded, “Oh, but she gave me 10 good years.” She saw
so much positive – where many of us would see the negative.
So many people fight disease. Connie taught us all how to LIVE with
suffering. Connie faced cancer with Courage – Fortitude – Perseverance –
and most of all – FAITH. I know that if she could speak to us all here
today – she would want to give to each of us, her tremendous gift of FAITH.
She’d want us to believe as much as she believed. She’d want us to remember
when faced with our own life’s seeming struggles is that Living Life fully
is about believing.
Connie never lost hope and was rewarded for her faith by a peaceful death,
surrounded by her loved ones.
During her last weeks at Calvary, the comments most often heard were how
unselfish she was. She didn’t complain of her pain or talk of her own
suffering. Instead, she’d ask someone how their children were, or “would
you like to watch the news”, or “how was so and so feeling”.
Her selfless love was especially seen a few weeks ago when Nicky and Blanca
got engaged. “Where’s the champagne,” she said and holding her glass to
them she whispered one of her last few words, “To your happiness.” — and
to you, Connie, who has given us so much happiness, we toast, : To your
FAITH, to your LIFE, L’Chaim!