Minister          _____ and _____ have not come here today to make a solemn promise or to exchange a sacred vow.

_____ and _____ have come here to make public their love for each other; to give noticement to their truth; to declare their choice to live and partner and grow together—out loud and in your presence, out of their desire that we will all come to feel a very real and intimate part of their decision, and thus make it even more powerful.

They’ve also come here today in the further hope that their ritual of bonding will help bring us all closer together.  If you are here today with a spouse or a partner, let this ceremony be a reminder—a rededication of your own loving bond.

We’ll begin by asking the question:  Why get married?  _____ and _____ have answered this question for themselves, and they’ve told me their answer.  Now I want to ask them one more time, so they can be sure of their answer, certain of their understanding, and firm in their commitment to the truth they share.

(Minister gets two red roses from table…)

This is the Ceremony of Roses, which  _____ and _____ share their understandings, and commemorate that sharing.

Now _____ and _____, you have told me it is your firm understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security…

…that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned or possessed…

…not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other…

…but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life…all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, all the power, all the knowledge, all the understanding, all the nurturing, all the compassion, and all the strength…resides within you…

…and that you are not each marrying the other in hopes of getting those things, but in hopes of giving these gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance.

Is that your firm understanding today?

(They say, “It is.” )

And _____ and _____, you have told me it is your firm understanding you are not entering into this marriage as a means of in any way limiting, controlling, hindering, or restricting each other from any true expression and honest celebration of that which is the highest and best within you—including your love of God, your love of life, your love of people, your love of creativity, your love of work, or any aspect of your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy.  Is that still your firm

            Finally, _____ and _____, you have said to me that you do not see marriage as producing obligations, but rather as providing opportunities…

…opportunities for growth, for full Self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you have had about yourself, and for ultimate reunion with God through the communion of your two souls…

…that this is truly a Holy Communion…a journey through life with one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally both the authority and the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, bearing equally what burdens there be, basking equally in the glories.

Is that the vision you wish to enter into now?

(They say, “It is.”)

I now give you these red roses, symbolizing your individual understandings of these Earthly things; that you both know and agree how life will be with you in bodily form, and within the physical structure called marriage.  Give these roses now to each other as a symbol of your sharing of these agreements and understandings with love.

Now, please each of you take this white rose.  It is a symbol of your larger understandings, of your spiritual nature and your spiritual truth.  It stands for the purity of your Real and Highest Self, and of the purity of God’s love, which shines upon you now, and always.

(Minister gives [woman] the rose with [man’s] ring on the stem, and [man] the rose with [woman’s] ring on it.)

            What symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promises given and received today?

(They each remove the rings from the stems, giving them to the minister, who holds them inher/his hand as she/says…)

            A circle is the symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the Universe.  It is a symbol of holiness, an of perfection and peace.  It is also the symbol of the eternality of spiritual truth, love, and life…that which has no beginning and no end.  And in this moment, _____ and _____ choose for it to also be a symbol of unity, but not of possession; of joining, but not of restricting; of encirclement, but not of entrapment.  For love cannot be possessed, nor can it be restricted.  And the soul can never be entrapped.

Now _____ and _____, please take these rings you wish to give, one to the other.

(They take each other’s rings.)

(man), please repeat after me.

I, ­­­­­_____, ask you, (woman), ­­­­­ to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my wife…I announce and declare my intention to give you my deepest friendship and love…not only when your moments are high…but when they are low…not only when you remember clearly Who You Are…but when you forget…not only when you are acting with love…but when you are not…I further announce…before God and those here present…that I will seek always to see the Light of Divinity within you…and seek always to share…the Light of Divinity within me…even, and especially… in whatever moments of darkness may come.

It is my intention to be with you forever…in a Holy Partnership of the S oul…that we may do together God’s work…sharing all that is good within us…with all those whose lives we touch.

(The minister turns to [woman])

(woman, do you choose to grant [man’s] request that you be his wife?

(She answers,, “I do.”)

Now, (woman,) please repeat after me.

I, ­­­­­_____, ask you, (man),  ­­­­­ to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my husband…I announce and declare my intention to give you my deepest friendship and love…not only when your moments are high…but when they are low…not only when you remember clearly Who You Are…but when you forget…not only when you are acting with love…but when you are not…I further announce…before God and those here present…that I will seek always to see the Light of Divinity within you…and seek always to share…the Light of Divinity within me…even, and especially… in whatever moments of darkness may come.

It is my intention to be with you forever…in a Holy Partnership of the Soul…that we may do together God’s work…sharing all that is good within us…with all those whose lives we touch.

(man), do you choose to grant (woman’s) request that you be her husband?

(He answers, “I do.”)

Please then, both of you, take hold of the rings you would give each other, and repeat after me:  With this ring…I thee wed…I take now the ring you give to me…(they exchange rings)…and give it place upon my hand…(they place the rings on their hands)…that all may see and know…of my love for you.

(The Minister closes…)

            We recognize with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it.  Neither my church, nor any power vested in me by the State, can grant me the authority to declare what only two hearts can declare, and what only two souls can make real.

And so now, inasmuch as you, (woman), and you, (man), have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of these, your friends, and the One Living Spirit—we observe joyfully that you have declared yourselves to be…husband and wife.

Let us now join in prayer.

“Spirit of Love and Life:  out of this whole world, two souls have found each other.  Their destinies shall now be woven into one design, and their perils an their joys shall not be known apart.

            [Man] and [Woman], may your home be a place of happiness for all who enter it; a place where the old and the young are renewed in each other’s company, a place for growing and a place for sharing, a place for music and a place for laughter, a place for prayer an a place for love.

            May those who are nearest to you be constantly enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for one another.  May your work be a joy of your life that serves the world, and may your days be good and long upon the Earth.

            Amen and Amen.

I

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– Toni LaMotta

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Vows & Readings: 10 Steps to Writing Your Own Vows

1. Talk to Your Officiant
   Before you get carried away and start spilling your heart out on the page, do your homework. Check with your officiant to make sure that it’s okay to pen your own promise — some religions do not allow for variation on traditional vows. Even if you’ve gotten the go-ahead, it’s imperative that you pass your vows by him or her once you’ve finished. Your officiant may raise faith-based questions or objections to your wording, or contribute a thought or quote that might make your vows even more emotive.

   2. Suss Out a Strategy
   Decide if you’ll write the vows together or alone. If you go solo, you may want to take turns running them by each other before the big day. (If you want to keep the vows a surprise, run them by a trusted loved one). Make sure that you both write approximately the same length of text so that one person isn’t rambling on for five minutes while the other says ten words. If you choose to make it a joint task, pen a mutual vow that you both take. Or, create a fill-in-the blank model for each one of you to personalize.

   3. Take a Trip Down Memory Lane
   The best self-composed vows are highly personal, with a few vivid, heartfelt details. Make a date with your honey for dinner or breakfast in bed and reminisce about your own private love story. When was the first time you used the word love? What are your most tender memories of one another? Has your sweetie helped you through a crisis? What challenges do you envision in your future? List the qualities you most admire in your loved one, and characteristics that he/she brings out in you. Incorporate some of these recollections in your vows.

   4. Borrow Freely
   Find your muse by reading poetry, love stories, spiritual texts — even by watching romantic movies. Jot down words and phrases that capure your feelings, and use them as a springboard. There’s no such thing as plagiarism when it comes to affairs of the heart. Park yourself with a tub of popcorn in front of the American Movie Classics network; throw on some songsters of love for some unforgettable lyrics to add to your collection; go back and take a look at your favorite authors’ works — including your childhood favorites.

   5. Consult Tradition
   You may fancy yourselves nontraditional, unconventional hipsters, but remember that traditional vows have endured for a reason. These timeworn, polished words are not just moving, succinct reflections on the meaning of love and commitment — they are emblems of the nuptial ceremony’s public, communal nature and a way of linking married folk of past, present, and future. Get your hands on the standard vows for your religion(s) or faith(s) — then see what strikes a chord.

   6. Pour Your Hearts Out
   As with all writing, you must eventually put pen to paper. Gather all the threads you’ve collected — memories, quotes, passages, reflections — and get to work. Words that should enter your mind — and appear in your vows — include respect, cherish, love, support, commit, pledge, and promise. Personalized vows can be funny and warm, but they should still be serious about the marriage commitment.

   7. Include Your Audience
   Don’t make your vows so personal that only the two of you will understand their meaning. Make sure the emotions and experiences you touch upon are identifiable and universal — you’ve invited guests to witness your bond, not to endure a baffling performance art monologue.

   8. Keep ’em Short and Sweet
   Your wedding vows are the most important element of your ceremony, but that doesn’t mean they should be long-winded. Your chosen words should pack a punch — just like your love — and should reflect your clarity of vision, sincerity of emotion, and certainty of will. Run your finished product by a trustworthy friend or family member with polished editing skills.

   9. Do a Run-Through
   Yes, your vows are for you and your honey — but they’ll also be heard by your entire wedding, so be sure they sound good when spoken. Practice out loud, alone or with a trusted friend. Also watch out for tongue twisters and unruly sentences (you may run out of breath — you’ll be nervous enough as it is). Make your final edits and consider copying your words onto stationery or a beautiful card, so that you and your sweetie will have it in print for years to come.

   10. Make a Cheat Sheet
   If you think you can memorize your vows, go for it! If you’re likely to draw a blank (as most nervous couples are), we’re giving you permission to cheat: Have a copy ready to read from or have the officiant read them for you to repeat. You probably won’t want to pull out a sheet of paper from the corset of your gown or jacket pocket, so assign your maid of honor and/or best man the duty of holding the vows until the moment arrives.

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The Knot© 2004

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Click on the above to see a sample Wedding booklet

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From this day on, I Aileen, choose you, Israel, to be my husband. To live with you and laugh with you; to stand by your side, and sleep in your arms; to be joy to your heart, and food for your soul; to bring out the best in you always, and, for you, to be the most that I can. I promise to laugh with you in good times, to struggle with you in bad; to comfort you when you are downhearted; to wipe your tears with my hands; to mirror you with my soul; to share with you all my riches and honors; to play with you as much as I can until we grow old; and, still loving each other sweetly and gladly, for as long as we both shall live.

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WEDDING message:

Krista and Joseph have come today to make public their love and commitment to live and grow together as husband and wife. It is their wish that by being here today, we will all come to feel a real and intimate part of their declaration, and thus make it even more significant and powerful.

Marriage is the joining of two lives, the mystical, physical, and emotional union of two human beings who have separate families and histories, separate memories and destinies. It is the merging not only of two persons, and two personalities, but also of two life stories.  Two individuals, each of whom has a unique and life shaping past, willingly choose to set aside the solitary exploration of themselves to discover who they are in the presence of one another.  Marriage is a conscious choice of a greater connection into which two individuals, already whole and complete, now step.

There is no greater teacher than our partner.

We think we know and Moved by mutual attraction, appreciation, admiration, and a certain measure of recognition, we agree to come together for the mysterious future, to see where the journey will take us.

Marriage is also the protected environment in which a love that is personal and touching and real can grow and, as a consequence of that growth, develop in us our highest capabilities as loving human beings.  We are each still and always becoming, and when we marry, we promise not only our own becoming but also our willingness to witness and withstand the ongoing becoming of our partner – this is where the challenge and the rub comes in…

I want to suggest today that there are 7 basic spiritual laws of any relationship – they are commitment, sharing, growth, communication, mirroring, responsibility and forgiveness.

Today you are making a COMMITMENT – but to be authentic, that commitment must be made and lived each day. When we make a commitment like this to another human being, we are saying – Your happiness is as important to me as my own.  Remember this when you have days of challenge…commitment means loving even when the feeling isn’t there.

SHARING & GROWTH – – The spiritual aspect of a relationship actually begins when the romance stage ends.. In reality, we are challenged to accept our partner just the way he or she is.  It never works to think you can change someone.  Love accepts both weaknesses and strengths.  Sharing your values, your hopes and your dreams on an ongoing basis, helps you develop a genuine compassion for one another. Find things that you love to do alone by all means.  But, be sure you have things you share.

I once asked a couple who was married for 40 years what made their marriage work.  They answered – we share enough in common –but we allow ourselves and value each person’s differences.  That sounds easy – but it is what makes a relationship strong is the ability and the commitment of each person to his or her own growth, creative expression and self-actualization.  It’s also important to continue to challenge the relationship to grow in greater intimacy and trust.  Each year on your anniversary, you might ask, How have we grown this year and what do we plan on doing to help that growth next year?

COMMUNICATION  – I could give a year’s worth of lessons on this one – for today, let’s just say – Make no assumptions and tell the truth at all times.  Talk about feelings and

MIRRORING and RESPONSIBILITY – know that you have come into this partnership for your own growth and that ANYTHING that comes up between you is usually something you need to heal from the past.. See each other as mirrors and recognize that you are the only one responsible for how you feel.

And finally, Forgiveness –  No relationship is smooth at all times.  In moments of disconnection, remember that you are committed to LOVE first – and you’ll be able to FORGIVE whatever comes up between you.

In promising always, you promise each other time. You promise to exercise your love, to stretch it large enough to embrace the unforeseen realities of the future.  You promise to learn to love beyond the level of your instincts and inclinations, to love in foul weather as well as fine, in hard times as well as good.

I know that you will change because of these promises; you will shape yourselves according to them; you will live differently because of them; you will feel protected because of them. Marriage, the bond, paradoxically makes you free — to see, to be, to love.  I bless you today as I know we all do – our prayers are with you on your journey of Love.

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Poem No. 1 – Cycles

Wildflowers bloom on a mountainside,

As icy waters on their tumbling ride,

Flow in haste to meet the Sea,

On a cycle that will always be.

Cycles, cycles everyplace,

Even in my life, I face

The fact that cycles often race

With no regard to proper pace.

So I was born and grew up fast,

And now I’m free to love at last,

And need (Bride or Groom’s Name) to complete the chain

Of the cycle that is in my name.

Poem No. 2 – Two Birds

Two birds begin a journey long,

From different points in far off lands;

With a luring urge – in heart a song,

Two novices heed life’s commands.

As they make their great migration,

Their feeble feet turn to taloned hands;

And the two reach their destination

As seasoned travelers in the northern lands.

Still unaware that the other lives,

Each alights upon the very same tree;

And there the two, as if guided by God,

Fall madly in love and marry.

Thus so it is with (Bride and Groom);

Two birds which Heaven’s winds did blow

To this blessed rendezvous of life,

Like the two birds at Capistrano.

Poem No. 3 – The Recipe of Love

The recipe of love must always include

Some herbs and spices for fortitude;

A tablespoon of forgiveness –

A clove of loyalty –

A cup of faith –

And a sprig of honesty;

A pinch of patience –

A teaspoon of trust –

A cup of friendship –

And a bit of lust;

Mix all these herbs and spices well –

No other recipe could ever excel;

Add (Bride’s Name) and (Groom’s Name) for proper effect;

Then saute the whole in two cups of respect.

Poems – Copyright (c) 1983-1996 by Ara John Movsesian

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The four readings below are used most often in weddings.

The New Testament

Paul wrote First Corinthians, Chapter Thirteen a letter to a small Christian group about twenty or

twenty-five years after the death of Jesus. After A.D. 50 the new religion of Christianity was

spreading rapidly across the Mediterranean area. There were many new, growing groups and

there were many political restrictions placed on Paul’s travels. Therefore, he began to keep in

contact with the new groups writing letters in Greek on large sheets of papyrus. He sent out

personal letters to each congregation, intended to be read to the group when they together to

share in a ritual meal. In these letters he tried to respond to questions about proper conduct.

Because information was so meager in those early years of the Christian church, Christians often

copied these letters and sent them around to other nearby churches.

Paul was preparing people for the second coming of Jesus, whom he believed was the Messiah.

Today most Biblical scholars believe that Paul thought this second coming was only a few years

away, perhaps only a few months away. Paul’s letters, intended to guide these small churches for

a short time until Jesus returned, are today 2,000 year old scriptures.

There are many different translations. One commonly used in weddings is the King James Version

(KJV), called the Authorized Version (AV) in England. However, today most people replace the

word “charity” in the 1611 King James Version with the word “love.” This translation is likely to

be familiar to many persons attending a wedding service. Many of them may have used it at their

own service. They may have heard it at other weddings or as a reading in church. For many

people it is still the Bible, with its phrases and images deeply embedded in English-speaking

cultural history. When you use this reading, you may elicit in people the positive associations they

have with these words. These positive associations come from hearing these words in the past

during meaningful times in their lives.

There are many other English translations. The New Revised Standard Version, first published in

1989, is gaining wide acceptance among mainline Protestants. Scholars consider the NRSV the

most accurate revision of the King James Version. Many Protestants also use The Good News

Bible, published in 1976 by the American Bible Society. Roman Catholics use The New

American Bible and The Jerusalem Bible. The advantage of using a modern English translation is

that it is much more understandable. However, modern translations do not carry the long

emotional associations that the traditional King James Version carries.

The translators of the King James Version placed some words in italics to showto the reader that

these specific words were not present in the Greek text. The translators inserted the italicized

words for clarification. Below is the most often used reading in American wedding services,

although most ministers, priests and couples change the word charity to love.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am

become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of

prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all

faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And

though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be

burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long and is

kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up; Doth not behave

itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all

things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there

be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether

there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in

part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done

away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a

child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through

a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even

as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three, but the

greatest of these is charity. First Corinthians, Chapter Thirteen, King James Version

The New Revised Standard Version, below, has the advantage of the most recent biblical

research and uses twentieth century English.

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

A Reading from The Old Testament or Hebrew Scriptures

If there were ratings for the books of the Hebrew Scriptures, The Song of Songs (also translated

as The Song of Solomon) would be rated “R.” Full of elaborate imagery, it is a collection of

steamy love-poems, with no references to God. There are no other writings remotely like it

anywhere else in the Bible. The Song of Songs is popular at weddings because it is full of folk

poetry that affirms of the beauty of nature and of the human body.

There are many different interpretations of the book. Some believe the groom in the story is

symbolic of God and the bride is symbolic of the Jewish nation. For others the story is about two

lovers, or two lovers and a king. For still others, this book consists of wedding poems. The

poems were part of the seven-day wedding festivities among Syrian peasants. They treated the

groom and bride as king and queen. To honor them, the peasants recited poems describing the

physical beauty of the couple. Today one popular view is that the book is an anthology of secular

love poems .They were collected over five hundred years from the tenth century B.C. to the fifth

century B.C.

A prevailing interpretation is that the poems in the Song of Songs are from

” . . . ancient Hebrew New Year liturgies that celebrated the reunion and marriage of

the sun god with the mother goddess, which in the ancient world typified the revival

of life in nature that came with the return of the growing season. It is the literary

residue of a myth, a liturgy of life; it harks back to the ancient fertility cult which in its

many forms was found throughout the whole world and is not without its survivals

even in our own day, as witness features in our Easter celebration.”

The passage below is often used in wedding ceremonies.

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

Song of Songs, verses 2:8-10, 14, 16a; 8:6-7a

New Revised Standard Version

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare

Many couples want more than one reading at their wedding, or they prefer a reading from a

source other than the Bible. This is particularly true of a marriage in which one person in the

relationship is from a non-Christian background. A common reading often used in weddings is

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare.

Shakespeare was born about 1564 and died in 1616; his sonnets were first published in 1609.

The sonnets may describe the author’s association with various persons, or they may have been

written as a story, of which each sonnet is one small part. They express forceful emotions and

strong feelings in a restricted word structure.

If you were not an English major in school, you may find Sonnet 116 difficult to understand. The

references in the poem may have been easily understood in England 400 years ago, but many are

not commonly understood today. Here is a rough translation: Shakespeare is saying that he does

not wish to interfere in the marriage of two people who love each other. He then proceeds to

define love. He says that love is not true love, if it changes when the couple disagrees, or if it

changes when the loved one is not always perfect. Love, says Shakespeare, is as reliable as the

North Star is to the mariner during stormy weather, never changing position in the sky. We can

depend on love in the same way sailors in their ships (wandering bark) depend on the North Star

by which to navigate; the nature of the star (and the nature of love) is unknown, although the

navigator can measure the height of the star from the horizon. Love does not change as time

passes, although physical beauty (rosy lips and cheeks) dies with time. Love does not change over

hours or weeks but stays the same, even to doomsday. Shakespeare ends the sonnet by saying

you can never prove him wrong on the subject of love because it is obvious that he wrote many

plays and poems, and that many people have loved.

Like scriptural readings, it takes careful practice to read Sonnet 116 well. However, like familiar

scriptural readings, it can bring forth strong positive feelings in the guests at a wedding service. If

you ask a friend or relative to read this at a wedding, encourage them to practice it aloud several

times before the service.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds

Or bends with the remover to remove.

O, no, it is an ever fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken,

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s not time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle’s compass come,

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom:

If this be error, and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sonnet 116

William Shakespeare

A Passage by Kahlil Gibran

Many people have not studied Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 and their reaction to hearing it read at

your wedding will be “I don’t know what this poem means.” Some couples may prefer a reading

written in modern English that all the people who come to the wedding service can understand.

There is a fourth reading commonly used in weddings. It is from The Prophet, written by the

romantic essayist Kahlil Gibran and published in 1923. Born in 1883 in Lebanon, Gibran

immigrated with his parents to Boston in 1895. In 1912 he settled in New York City and devoted

himself to writing and painting.

In this passage from The Prophet Gibran says that partners who are getting married should not

lose their individuality after their marriage. Because this desire not to lose our individual identity is

strong in British-American culture, the passage is often read in weddings.

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

The Prophet, pages 15-6

Additional Readings

The readings that follow are also used in wedding services. In selecting a reading, trust your

feelings. What words describe your feeling for your partner and your understanding of your

relationship?

Here in the space between us and the world

lies human meaning.

Into the vast uncertainty we call.

The echoes make our music,

sharp equations which can hold the stars,

and marvelous mythologies we trust.

This may be all we need

to lift our love against indifference and pain.

Here in the space between us and each other

lies all the future

of the fragment of the universe

which is our own.

From Sound of Silence

Raymond J. Baughan

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

From Standing by Words

Wendell Berry

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,–I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!–and, If God choose,

I shall love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for naught

Except for love’s sake only. Do not say

“I love her for her smile–her look–her way

Of speaking gently,–for a trick of thought

That falls in well with mine, and certes brought

A sense of pleasant ease on such a day”–

For these things in themselves, Beloved, may

Be changed, or change for thee–and love, so wrought,

May be unwrought so. Neither love me for

Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry:

A creature might forget to weep, who bore

Thy comfort long, and love thy love thereby!

But love me for love’s sake, that evermore

Thou mayst love on, through love’s eternity.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

e.e. cummings

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

New Revised Standard Version

Following this reading the officiant might say: “For everything there is a season, and a time for

every matter under heaven. Now is a time for a wedding.”

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life, to

strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in

all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last

parting?

From Adam Bede

George Eliot

Love is the simplest of all earthly things.

It needs no grandeur of celestial trust

In more than what it is, no holy wings:

It stands with honest feet in honest dust.

And is the body’s blossoming in clear air

Of trustfulness and joyance when alone

Two mortals pass beyond the hour’s despair

And claim that Paradise which is their own.

Amid a universe of sweat and blood,

Beyond the glooms of all the nations’ hate,

Lovers, forgetful of the poisoned mood

Of the loud world, in secret ere too late

A gentle sacrament may celebrate

Before their private altar of the good.

Arthur Davison Ficke

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

From To Have or to Be?

Erich Fromm

Marriage has certain qualities of contract, in which two people take on the housekeeping tasks of

living, together, to enhance life’s joy.

However, marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take that joy deep,

deeper than happiness, deep into the discovery of who you most truly are. It is a commitment to a

spiritual journey, to a life of becoming-in which joy can comprehend despair, running through

rivers of pain into joy again.

And thus marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant — a covenant that says:

I love you.

I trust you.

I will be here for you when you are hurting, and when I am hurting, I will not leave.

It is a covenant intended not to provide haven from pain or from anger and sorrow. Life offers no

such haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk

living and sharing from the center of oneself. This is worth everything.

Margaret A. Keip

The hand which you each offer

to the other

is an extension of yourselves;

just as is the warmth and love

which you express to each other.

Cherish the touch,

for you are touching another life.

Be sensitive to its pulse,

and try to understand and respect its flow and rhythm,

just as you do your own.

Paul L’Herrou

If your love is to grow and deepen,

you must find a way to move

with each other;

perhaps in a slow and graceful dance

(bare feet firmly feeling the ground),

a dance, that circles and tests

and learns

as it gradually moves closer

to that place

where you can each

pass through the other

and turn and embrace

without breaking

or losing any part of yourselves

but only to learn more of who you each are

by your touching,

to find that you are each whole

and individual and separate

yet, in the same instant,

one, joined as a whole

that does not blur the two individuals

as you dance.

The music is there

if you will listen hard,

through the static and noise of life,

and other tunes that fill your heads.

You are here,

marking time to the music.

The dance can only begin

if you will take the first (and hardest)

tentative,

uncertain,

stumbling

steps.

Paul L’Herrou

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

From Gift from the Sea

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Come live with me and be my love,

And we will all the pleasures prove

That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,

Woods, or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,

Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,

By shallow rivers to whose falls

Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses

And a thousand fragrant posies,

A cap of flowers, and a kirtle

Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;

A gown made of the finest wool

Which from our pretty lambs we pull;

Fair lined slippers for the cold,

With buckles of the purest gold;

A belt of straw and ivy buds,

With coral clasps and amber studs:

And if these pleasures may thee move,

Come live with me, and be my love.

The shepherds’ swains shall dance and sing

For thy delight each May morning:

If these delights thy mind may move,

Then live with me and be my love.

Christopher Marlowe

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

“Two Trees”

Janet Miles

* * * * * * * * *

It takes years to marry completely two hearts, even of the most loving and well assorted. A happy

wedlock is a long falling in love. Young persons think love belongs only to the brown-haired and

crimson-cheeked. So it does for its beginning. But the golden marriage is a part of love which the

Bridal day knows nothing of.

A perfect and complete marriage, where wedlock is everything you could ask and the ideal of

marriage becomes actual, is not common, perhaps as rare as perfect personal beauty. Men and

women are married fractionally, now a small fraction, then a large fraction. Very few are married

totally, and they only after some forty or fifty years of gradual approach and experiment.

Such a large and sweet fruit is a complete marriage that it needs a long summer to ripen in, and

then a long winter to mellow and season it. But a real, happy marriage of love and judgment

between a noble man and woman is one of the things so very handsome that if the sun were, as

the Greek poets fabled, a God, he might stop the world and hold it still now and then in order to

look all day long on some example thereof, and feast his eyes on such a spectacle.

Theodore Parker

The institution of marriage was begun

that a man and a woman

might learn how to love

and, in loving, know joy;

that a man and a woman

might learn how to share pain and loneliness

and, in sharing, know strength;

that a man and a woman

might learn how to give

and, in giving know communion.

The institution of marriage was begun

that a man and a woman

might through their joy,

their strength, and their communion,

become creators of life itself.

Marriage is a high and holy state,

to be held

in honor

among all men and women.

Marriage is a low and common state,

to be built

of the stuff

of daily life.

Men and women are not angels, nor are they gods.

Love can become hatred;

joy, sorrow,

marriage, divorce.

But human beings are not condemned to failure.

Love can grow even in a real world.

The wounds of sorrow can be healed,

And new life built on the learnings of the old.

This is the reason for our gathering today:

to renew our faith

in the strength of hope

and the power of love.

Kenneth W. Phifer

You ask what is this love we here affirm, and I answer, it is a covenant you make, one with the

other, a covenant born of commitment to each other’s well being and growth and commitment to

your relationship itself, allowing it the possibility of change and of growth. And so the covenant

reads:

Take time for each other and act always from a caring position. Allow each other time alone for

renewal and creativity. Be as honest as possible about feelings as well as actions. Share household

and routine tasks with role reversal as a reality. Listen to each other with intent beyond the words.

Allow other relationships and commitments in your lives. And make room in your covenant for the

children of your love and when the time comes to let them go, do so with joy and caring; then

come your primary relationship with fresh commitments to new beginnings.

Betty Pingel

There is an art to marriage as there is to any creative activity we human beings engage in. This art

asks that we pay attention to the little things as well as the big ones that are part of the closeness

of marriage. Never grow too old to hold hands. At least once each day, remember to say, “I love

you.” In so much as it is possible, develop the capacity to forgive and forget and heal quarrels as

they happen so that you do not go to bed angry. Your courtship should not end with the

honeymoon; so pay attention that you do not come to take each other for granted, and remember

to speak words of appreciation and demonstrate your gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is important to have a mutual sense of values and common objectives so that you stand together

as you work through the world and do things for each other, not as a duty or sacrifice, but in the

spirit of joy. Do not expect perfection of each other; perfection is only for the gods. But do give

each other room to grow and cultivate flexibility, patience, understanding, and sense of humor in

your relationship. And your marriage is not just for two people. Use it to form a circle of love that

gathers in your families and the children who may be part of your lives.

Find room for the things of the spirit and make your search for the good and the beautiful a

common search. In the words of a counselor, make yours a relationship in which “the

independence is equal, the dependent is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.” Remember that

standing together never means dissolving your individual selves into each other, but indeed means

the strengthening of the individuality of each. A good marriage evolves when two distinct souls

face life’s joy and its sorrow in harmony, not in unison.

This list sounds very long and very heavy, yet it is only a small part of what is required of two

people who would truly accept that making a marriage over the years is an artistic endeavor

worthy of our best efforts. It is not just another relationship in our lives; it is the one that gives us

courage and the support to reach out to other people in love and wholeness.

Betty Pingel

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

From Letters to a Young Poet

Rainer Maria Rilke

Translated by J.B. Greene and M. D. H. Norton

The Fountains mingle with the River

And the Rivers with the Ocean,

The winds of Heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

Why not I with thine?-

See the mountains kiss high Heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother,

And the sunlight clasps the earth

And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

If thou kiss not me?

Percy Bysshe Shelley,”Love’s Philosophy”

(This passage is omitted because of copyright protection. It is included in the book, For As Long

As We Both Shall Live, available at your local bookstore or by calling 1-800-238-0658.)

Edited and adapted from Ross Snyder

I do not offer the old smooth prizes,

But offer rough new prizes,

These are the days that must happen to you:

You shall not heap up what is called riches,

You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you

earn or achieve.

However sweet the laid-up stores,

However convenient the dwellings,

You shall not remain there.

However sheltered the port,

And however calm the waters,

You shall not anchor there.

However welcome the hospitality that welcomes you

You are permitted to receive it but a little while

Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road,

Healthy, free, the world before you,

The long brown path before you, leading wherever

you choose.

Say only to one another:

Camerado, I give you my hand!

I give you my love, more precious than money,

I give you myself before preaching or law:

Will you give me yourself?

Will you come travel with me?

Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

Walt Whitman

BACK TO CONTENTS

E-Mail :rfritts@his.com

URL: http//www.his.com/~rfritts

Text – Copyright ©1993, 1996, Thomas Roger Fritts

Web Layout – Copyright ©1996, Thomas Roger Fritts

Revised – June 3, 1996

The post Most often used readings appeared first on Ceremonies.

Everyday you live, learn how to receive love with as much understanding as you give it. Find things within yourself, then you can share them with each other.

Do not fear this love. Have an open heart and a sincere mind. Be sincerely interested in each other’s happiness. Be constant and consistent in your love.

From this comes security and strength. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us on this day of your marriage. Try to commit yourselves fully and freely to each other.

LOVE IS THE REASON

Love is the reason why this day was chosen by you both to begin your lives together and love is the reason why you both will give with all hearts for the good of each other.

Love is the reason that together you will become one; one in hope; one in believing in life; one in sharing the coming years.

TWO LIVES

Two lives, two people, so very different,
yet so similar.

Together we stand as one, sharing our future as it comes. The past is that past.

Buds are yet to blossom, with care and trust, the best is yet to be revealed.

Honesty and kindness, are the fruits of love. Lord bless this day and always to enrich us so our love will
never end.

The post Reading by Walter Pinder appeared first on Ceremonies.

For Raphael & Dana

PROCESSIONAL

MUSIC – Pachelbel Canon in D Major

Raphael and Dana  have asked those of you who are most important to witness and to celebrate this marriage ceremony with them. They are taking the first step of their new beginning; their new life together.  Gathered with you in the presence of God, they have come to make public their love and commitment to live and grow together as husband and wife.  It is their wish that by being here today, we will all come to feel a real and intimate part of their declaration, and thus make it even more significant and powerful.

The ability and desire for one human being to love another is perhaps the most precious and fulfilling gift that has been entrusted to us. It is an all-consuming task, a lifelong endeavor.

Loving someone is a reason to stretch beyond our limits, to become more for the sake of the other. It is to look into the soul of your beloved and accept what you see. Loving is the ultimate commitment which challenges humans to become all that we are meant to be. As they join in marriage today, Raphael and Dana  are announcing to the world that they are welcoming that challenge.

Are you all willing  to show your support of the commitment they are making today?

Please say YES!

CONVOCATION –:

We are gathered here today to joyfully  celebrate and to add our support as two separate lives with their individual memories, desires, and hopes merge into one. We rejoice with them on this special day.  As a result of their marriage, WE are all becoming one Family.  This, then , is not on Wedding day, but a day to celebrate the coming together to create Family.

INTRODUCTIONS

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that fact now — by having each person here introduce him or herself to at least 2 other people who you DO NOT know —              but with whom after this day, you will share a common bond.

Love is one of the highest experiences that we can have, and adds great meaning to our lives. The day to day companionship, the real pleasure in doing things together, or   in doing separate things but delighting in the exchange of experiences, is a continuous and central part of what a man and a woman who love one another can share. This sharing should not diminish but should enhance the individuality of each partner.

We are here today, then to celebrate the love which Raphael and Dana  have for each other  and to add our recognition to their decision to accept each other totally and permanently.

Marriage is the joining of two lives, the mystical, physical, and emotional union of two human beings who have separate families and histories, separate tragedies and destinies. It is the merging and intermeshing not only of two persons, and two personalities, but also of two life stories.  Two   individuals, each of whom has a unique and life shaping past, willingly choose to set aside the solitary exploration of themselves to discover who they are in the presence of one another.

Raphael and Dana  have both  been on individual spiritual journeys for some time… Our Readings today represent the various Religions and Philosophies that have been part of their quest.

I welcome Peter Heatley to do the first READING representing the Episcopal and Christian traditions:

TONI:  Our second reading represents the Buddhist tradition that has also been part of both of their lives.

READING 2 — Donna’s brother

Marriage is a conscious choice of a greater connection into which two individuals, already whole and complete, now step.

The person that we choose to marry is someone we love, but his depths, her intimate intricacies, we will come to know only in the long unraveling of time. To our knowledge we add our willingness to embark on the journey of getting to know him, of coming to see her, ever so wonderfully more.

Even though you step today into a new life, you always bring your past – and who you have been up until now.

Toni: We now invite the fathers -Michael Heatley and Terry Tutaan to share some reflections on Raphael and Dana’s childhood days.

We now invite the mothers to speak for a moment about the gift they see their new son and daughter bringing to their lives.

CONNIE — to speak about DANA

ISABELLE – to speak about RAPHAEL

The Candlelighting Ceremony

The candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage. It is magical

because it represents the light of two people in love.  This candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it a flame.

We invite your parents to first light the separate candles – Symbolizing that  both must come together  giving spark of themselves, to create the new light.

and now – from these candles — light the ONE CANDLE –

As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout

your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness; warmth and

safety in the cold; and strength and joy in your bodies, minds, and spirit.

May your union be forever blessed.

We now invite David Heatley to do the Third reading coming from the Sidi Yoga tradition:

Moved by mutual attraction, appreciation, admiration, and a certain measure of recognition, we agree to come together for the mysterious future, to see where the journey will take us. This companionship on life’s journey is the hallmark of marriage, its natural province, its sweetest and most primal gift.

In marriage we are delivered from our most ancient aloneness  in which we are born, embraced in human company, creating the miracle of loving companionship.

Marriage is also the incubator of love, the protected environment in which a love that is personal and touching and real can grow and, as a consequence of that growth, develop in us our highest capabilities as loving human beings.  We are each still and always becoming, and when we marry, we promise not only our own becoming but also our willingness to witness and withstand the ongoing becoming of our partner.

In promising always, we promise each other time. We promise to exercise our love, to stretch it large enough to embrace the unforeseen realities of the future.  We promise to learn to love beyond the level of our instincts and inclinations, to love in foul weather as well as fine, in hard times as well as good.

We change because of these promises; we shape ourselves according to them; we live in their midst and live differently because of them; we feel protected because of them. Marriage, the bond, makes us ???

Toni:  Raphael and Dana, I have confidence in your love for and friendship with one another and I know that it will enable you to continue to grow individually and together. I support you – as I know we all do with our own deep and basic confidence.

You have chosen each other as partners in life’s journey.  Are you ready to be married?  If so, please say,  “We are”

The Consent

Raphael ,  do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Dana? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Dana all the loving support she needs to become the person she is destined to be?

RAPHAEL :”I do”

Dana, do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Raphael ? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Raphael  all the loving support he needs to become the person he is destined to be?

Dana: “I do”

I invite you then to offer each other your VOWS.

Raphael  first, then Dana

VOWS

To the congregation:

Will all of you, family and special friends, do everything you can to honor, uphold and care for Raphael  and Dana as they walk the sacred path of marriage?

RESPONSE:  We will.

This commitment is truly a Sacred union – it brings with it opportunities for growth, for full self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing any small idea you ever had about yourself and ultimately for true communion with God.

Let us pause now to listen to MUSIC as we reflect on the commitments each of us has made in our lives.

RINGS and ROSES

I’d now like to offer each of you a white rose.  It is a symbol of your larger understandings, of your spiritual nature, and your spiritual truth.  It stands for the purity of your Real and Highest Self, and for the purity of God’s love, which shines upon you now, and always,

Rev. Toni gives Dana the rose with Raphael ’s ring and Raphael , Dana’s.

What symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promised given and received today.

(They remove the rings and give them to Toni)

A circle is a symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the universe.  It is a symbol of holiness, and of perfection and peace.  It is also the symbol of the eternality of spiritual truth, love and life…that which has no beginning and no end.  And in this moment,

Raphael  and Dana choose for it to also be a symbol of unity, of joining, and of encirclement. These rings represent an inward belief and trust in togetherness. They express an outward sign of spirit and commitment, signifying to all who see them, the bonds of marriage the two of you share.

Now, Raphael  and Dana, take these rings you wish to give one to the other.

Raphael  – please repeat after me.

Dana, I offer you this ring// as a symbol of our marriage vows.// As you wear it,// know that I will love and cherish you always.

Dana – please repeat after me:
Raphael , I offer you this ring// as a symbol of our marriage vows.// As you wear it,// know that I will love and cherish you always.

Expression of Intent

Bride:  I do.

Will you promise to offer Raphael  your

Here’s another version without the roses —

Exchanging of the Rings:  “May we have the rings, please?”

The act of giving and receiving ring reminds us that love itself is an act of giving and receiving the most that life has to offer. These shining and eternal circles are the natural symbols for enduring love.  They represent an inward belief and trust in togetherness. They express an outward sign of spirit and commitment, signifying to all the bonds of marriage the two of you share. These rings are a symbol of the unbroken unity of Love now and forever to be manifested in your married life. The substance from which they are made symbolizes both great purity and great value, just as the love you share.

*Raphael places the ring on Dana’s ring finger. Then Dana places the ring on Raphael’s finger.

Repeat after me:

I offer you this ring/as a symbol of our marriage vows./As you wear it,/know that I will love and cherish you always.

Reading

And now ******** would like to share with you these words written a long time ago by the Apostle Paul in a letter to the Church at Corinth:

“There is nothing Love cannot face. No limit to its faith, its hope, its endurance.   In a word:  There are three things that last forever:  Faith, Hope, and Love…but the greatest of these is Love.”

Now, inasmuch as you, Raphael and Dana have consented together in the holy bonds of matrimony, and have pledged your faith to each other, and have witnessed the same before God and these your chosen witnesses;

By the authority vested in me by my ordination, and even more so, by the power of your own love and commitment to each other,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.  In the name of the One Living Spirit of God. Amen.

You may now kiss the Bride.

Bride and Groom Kiss

May I now present Mr. and Mrs. Raphael and Dana Heatley/LaMotta ???

The post Christian and Buddhist appeared first on Ceremonies.

Prelude –music

Welcome  by Rev. Toni

Processional – opening song (Marti?)

Hayden & parents

Akee

Joli

Danielle

Gina & Hayden with Zalika

Change music for bride to African Drumming

Ask her dad & mom: Who gives this woman in marriage?
response:  We do

Rev. Toni:   Hayden & Toni  have asked those of you who are most important to witness and to celebrate this marriage ceremony with them. They are taking the first step of their new beginning; their new life together.  Gathered with you in the presence of God, they have come to make public their love and commitment to live and grow together as husband and wife.  . It is their wish that by being here today, we will all come to feel a real and intimate part of their declaration, and thus make it even more significant and powerful.

The ability and desire for one human being to love another is perhaps the most precious and fulfilling gift that has been entrusted to us. It is an all-consuming task, a lifelong endeavor.

Loving someone is a reason to stretch beyond our limits, to become more for the sake of the other. It is to look into the soul of your beloved and accept what you see. Loving is the ultimate commitment which challenges humans to become all that we are meant to be. As they join in marriage today, Hayden & Toni  are announcing to the world that they are welcoming that challenge.

Are you all willing  to show your support of the commitment they are making today?

Please say YES!

CONVOCATION –:

We are gathered here today to joyfully celebrate and to add our support as two separate lives with their individual memories, desires, and hopes merge into one. We rejoice with them on this special day.  As a result of their marriage, WE are all becoming one Family.  This, then , is not on Wedding day, but a day to celebrate the coming together to create Family.

As a symbol of this joining – Candle lighting – fathers light candles – mothers speak about their child and wish for marriage

The candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage.  It is magical because it represents the light of two people in love.  This candle before you is truly a candle of commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it aflame.

We invite your fathers to light the candles—symbolizing that each of you come from separate and distinct pasts but are willing to now come together giving spark of themselves to create the new light.  As they light this candle which symbolizing two whole lives joined together, we all pray that the brightness represented by  this flame shine throughout your lives.

May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness, warmth and safety in the cold, and strength and joy in your bodies, minds and spirit.  May your union be forever blessed.

As the fathers are LIGHTING  THE CANDLES –

We invite the mothers to say a few words

Invocation – Rev. Toni does prayer

Let us pray:

Divine light that illumines our hearts and gives life to each cell of our being, we give thanks for the love that has gathered us together in this place

and especially for the beautiful, heartwarming love that Hayden & Toni share which led them to choose to be united in marriage.

We know and accept that the Power and the Love that is God is with them and with all of us who share in this lovely and sacred moment of their marriage.  We declare today that the Word we speak here today will bring forth in them all the strength and beauty and love they will need to make every word that they say here a living truth in their lives.  And so it is.  Amen.

• Music: All I Ask of You from Phantom????? — suggestion

Reading – Danielle or Jimmy

This is just a SAMPLE idea – you can use any reading – perhaps one from the Bible?

Marriage has certain qualities of contract, in which two people take on the housekeeping tasks of

living, together, to enhance life’s joy.

However, marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take that joy deep,

deeper than happiness, deep into the discovery of who you most truly are. It is a commitment to a

spiritual journey, to a life of becoming-in which joy can comprehend despair, running through

rivers of pain into joy again.

And thus marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant — a covenant that says:

I love you.

I trust you.

I will be here for you when you are hurting, and when I am hurting, I will not leave.

It is a covenant intended not to provide haven from pain or from anger and sorrow. Life offers no

such haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk

living and sharing from the center of oneself. This is worth everything.

Margaret A. Keip

Song —  The PRAYER — Marti

Giving consent

SAMPLE –

The Consent

Hayden ,  do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Toni? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Toni all the loving support she needs to become the person she is destined to be?

Hayden :”I do”

Toni, do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Toni ? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Hayden all the loving support he needs to become the person he is destined to be?

Toni: “I do”

This commitment is truly a Sacred union – it brings with it opportunities for growth, for full self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing any small idea you ever had about yourself and ultimately for true communion with God.

Vows

–I invite you to offer your vows to each other-

Let us pause now to listen to MUSIC as we reflect on the commitments each of us has made in our lives.

Marti sings….

Vows

Ring ceremony

Toni:  May I have the rings please.

The act of giving and receiving rings reminds us that love itself is an act of giving and receiving the most that life has to offer. Traditionally, the marking of the passage to the status of husband and wife is marked by the exchange of rings.  These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love.  Love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver for each is the giver and each is the receiver.  May these rings always remind you the vows you have taken today.

Hayden, as you place the ring on Toni’s hand,  please repeat after me:

Toni, I love you as no other. // All that I am, I will share with you. //  This ring I give you, //as a sign of my love and commitment to you. // Receive and wear this ring,// as a symbol of my faith and trust in you. // Before this community of  our family and friends,// I take you to be my wife.//

Toni, as you place the ring on Hayden’s hand, please repeat after me:

Hayden,  I love you as no other. // All that I am, I will share with you. //  This ring I give you, //as a sign of my love and commitment to you. // Receive and wear this ring,//

as a symbol of my faith and trust in you. // Before this community of our family and friends,// I take you to be my husband.//

Baby blessing

Who presents this child for Christening?

We do.

Toni:

“This christening is a recognition of the infinite power of the Spirit in each child. The seed of perfection is implanted in every child and awaits only its recognition for its outpouring of Truth, and the complete expression of good in each one.

This consecration   service welcomes This child, Zalika into our family.    It is an outward expression which reveals that Unity of Spirit within. We recognize that this child came forth from God-a Divine Being.  That perfection exists within this child and that this child’s purity of being is God incarnated in, through, and as this child.   Our blessing service symbolizes our conscious immersion in the Life Stream of God.  Our Oneness with God.  That we can never be separated from God.  That this soul on its new adventure of Life shall live and move and have his being  in God.  He shall always be in that all  embracing circle of Divine Love.”

Gina & Robert In presenting  Zalika for blessing, do you acknowledge  the unity of  God and man?

Gina & Robert-    We do.

Do you acknowledge that the Spirit of God and the Spirit of  Man  is united as one being and that we, as spiritual beings, manifest the creative power of God and that keeping the mind set on the positive Good brings joy and happiness to life?

Gina & Robert-   We do.

:   Will you teach This child the Truth of its Being, that from childhood it may realize its unity with God?

Gina & Robert-  We will.

Will you do this not only by word, but by example so that your child may learn to live joyously, creatively and harmoniously?   Will you do this to the best of your ability?

– We will.

Toni Dr. dip rose in water and says:

” I bless you Zalika in the name of the God within you, and of the moving, Creative Principle of all life.”

I dedicate this child to the care and keeping and to the way that perfect intelligence may guide and direct him and  unfailing Love may draw her into the ways of eternal happiness.  I dedicate this child to God’s perfect care and keeping.  God’s strength upholds him.  God’s presence fills her.  May he be guided by perfect intelligence and directed by unfailing love into the ways of day by day happiness.

AND SO IT IS.

Song:  God’s Masterpiece

The Rose

It is now my special privilege to present you with a special gift as husband and wife.  In the language of flowers, a red rose is the symbol of love and my gift to you is the gift of Love.  It would be our hope that wherever you may make your home, there be an especially appointed place in it for red roses.  And that on each succeeding anniversary of your wedding day, you celebrate it, at least in part, by each of you bringing to the appointed place a red rose, as a re-statement of love, and a re-commitment of the vows you made to one another and before all here present.  Also, in every marriage, it is occasionally difficult to find words to resolve certain issues which may arise, and if and when such issues might come to your marriage, if either one of you will remember and bring to the special place a red rose, the other will see it, accept it and understand it as a statement of love.

JOIN us now in Prayer:

Aware that there is one presence and power, and that we are each part of this unity, we now join in blessing Hayden & Toni in the continuing of their lives together.  We recognize that the presence of God’s grace within them enables them to fulfill the promise of God’s true partnership in life.  We know and affirm that they live in joy and love.

And now – I  recognize with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. Neither my church, nor any power vested in me by the State, can grant me the authority to declare what only two hearts can declare, and what only two souls can make real.

And so now, inasmuch as you, Toni, and you, Hayden  have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of these, your family, friends, and the One Living Spirit, –we observe joyfully that you have declared yourselves to be husband and wife.

You may now kiss one another.

Actual wedding pronouncements

Indian prayer – butterfly release

Butterfly Ceremony

Jimmy  is passing out a small package – one per family.  Inside is a beautiful butterfly.  In a moment, we will all release them together as a closing blessing to the new family.  You need only open the package wide enough for the wings to flap.

As the Indian Legend goes:
If anyone desires a wish to come true, they must first capture a butterfly and whisper that wish to it.  Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly can not reveal the wish to anyone but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all.

In gratitude for giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great Spirit always grants the wish.  So, according to the legend, by making a wish and giving the butterfly its freedom, the wish will be taken to the heavens and be granted.

Today we have gathered to grand this couple all our best wishes and as we set these butterflies free, I invite you to hold this new family in your highest blessing in the trust that all these wishes will be granted.

As I present to you for the first time, Mr. & Mrs. ??  and their beautiful daughter, Zalika, I invite you to RELEASE THE BUTTERFLIES!

MUSIC

May I now present to you

Mr. & Mrs.

African Drums – recessional

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