Author: DrToni

Reading by Walter Pinder

Posted on by DrToni

 

Everyday you live, learn how to receive love with as much understanding as you give it. Find things within yourself, then you can share them with each other.

Do not fear this love. Have an open heart and a sincere mind. Be sincerely interested in each other’s happiness. Be constant and consistent in your love.

From this comes security and strength. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us on this day of your marriage. Try to commit yourselves fully and freely to each other.

LOVE IS THE REASON

Love is the reason why this day was chosen by you both to begin your lives together and love is the reason why you both will give with all hearts for the good of each other.

Love is the reason that together you will become one; one in hope; one in believing in life; one in sharing the coming years.

TWO LIVES

Two lives, two people, so very different,
yet so similar.

Together we stand as one, sharing our future as it comes. The past is that past.

Buds are yet to blossom, with care and trust, the best is yet to be revealed.

Honesty and kindness, are the fruits of love. Lord bless this day and always to enrich us so our love will
never end.

 

Wedding additions

Posted on by DrToni

The Candlelighting Ceremony

The candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage. It is magical

because it represents the light of two people in love.

This candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two

people working together to keep it a flame.

This candle is also a candle of unity because both must come together

giving spark of themselves, to create the new light.

As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout

your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness; warmth and

safety in the cold; and strength and joy in your bodies, minds, and spririt.

May your union be forever blessed.

SAND CEREMONY

I have before me on this table, three containers of sand. One of them represents the power of love, upon which this relationship is built. One is the color green which represents not only ________ , but also the color of growth — so that the love that is shared by ________ and ____________ continues to grow.

The white sand represents _________, and the light and joy that has been so evident in their relationship from the beginning.

As I pour the rose colored sand into the jar, this represents the foundation of love which is the basis for a strong marriage.

Next, I will ask ________ to pour in some of his green sand to represent his own individual identity which he brought to this relationship. And now I will ask _________ to do the same. We now have created three distinct layers of sand in this container.

The container itself is the relationship — for it is greater than either ___________ or ________ and without the container of the relationship, there can be no union. It is made of glass, and it is fragile. It can shatter. So it is incumbent upon the two of them to care for the relationship, even over their own individual needs.

Now that they have said their vows to one another, I will ask that they each pour their sand into the container together, blending the two colors. You will notice that there is still the integrity of the color of each grain of sand, but they are joined together in a union that brings them close together in the intimate bond of marriage.

As I pour the rose sand over the top, let it signify the shelter of love that enfolds them each and every day of their lives together.


First Rose Ceremony:

Marriage is a coming together of two lives, and a celebration of the love of two people. But it is more. The love that you feel for one another is the flowering of a seed your mothers planted in your hearts many years ago. When you were first born, you were a bundle of diapers and tears, and your mothers lost sleep caring for you. Their love for you has brought them great happiness and great challenges, and their love did not diminish as they met these challenges. That is the great lesson you can bring into your marriage. As you embrace one another in your love, so too do you embrace the families which have been brought together on this happy occasion. As a token of your gratitude for your families, I would like to ask you to offer these symbols of eternal love, these roses, to your mothers. (Both bride and groom can hand the roses to each mother together, offering the mothers kisses if they wish.)

Ceremony of the Wine Cup

The years of our lives are as a cup of wine poured out for us to drink. The cup of life contains within it the sweet wine of happiness, joy, hope, and delight. This same cup, at times, holds the bitter wine of sorrow, grief, and despair. Those who drink deeply of life invite the full range of experiences into their being. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate, have become one vessel into which all your sorrows and joys, all your hopes and fears, will be poured, and from which you will receive mutual sustenance. Many days you will sit at the same table and eat and drink together. Drink now, and may the cup of your lives be full to running over.

Water, stone, sand – community blessing

I have not seen/heard the sand ritual (would love to get a copy as well), but Rev. Sunday did a beautiful water ritual for my wedding in 2002 that is copied below. Seems it could be modified for a sand blessing. It also incorporated a community blessing.

 

Steve and I also modified it for my sister’s wedding to incorporate both the water and the candle lighting ritual while Steve sang the song “Candle on the Water” (see below)

 

Enjoy,

Rev Mary Kay

 

 

COMMUNITY BLESSING:

 

Now I would like to invite all present here today to partake in a special ritual.  This is an opportunity to provide a symbol for Mary Kay and Steve to take with them, to put into

their home, so that every time they look at it, it will serve as a reminder of this beautiful moment.

 

You will see behind me a bowl filled with water and stones. The bowl represents the container that holds Steve and Mary Kay’s marriage.  Inside the water represents the Ever

Present Spirit, the Loving Essence of God.  The two containers on either side of the bowl represent Steve and Mary Kay.  As you will notice, these containers are full, for Mary Kay and Steve are complete as they are.  They do not bring a container that is half full, hoping to be fulfilled by someone else in marriage.  They each, as individuals, are complete.  And they are complete in Spirit, the same loving Essence that is in their marriage, as the water represents.

 

Submerged in Spirit are the stones that represent the many blessings we bestow upon Mary Kay and Steve today.  Now in a minute, Mary Kay and Steve will step forward, take their full containers, and pour them into the Spirit of this marriage, symbolically expanding their experience of Spirit.  While they do this, I request that everyone simply speak out a word of blessing, a quality that will be represented by one of these stones.  Speak out randomly, showering Mary Kay and Steve with your blessings.

 

So, let us close our eyes for a moment.  Open your heart and let the quality come forth that you most desire Mary Kay and Steve to experience in their marriage.  As we open our eyes,

begin to speak out loud your blessing as Mary Kay and Steve come forth to pour the water.

 

Don’t be shy!

 

 

CANDLE/WATER CEREMONY

 

Kary and Kevin move behind Table, Leticia helps with dress, Steve stands

 

In this special moment of time, as you stand before each other, truly committed, filled with joy and love, notice the candles before Kary and Kevin.  The two candles beside the bowl represent the individuals lives of Kary and Kevin. Each one is a light unto themselves and to each other.

 

Contained in the vessel is water. Water is the symbol of Spirit, that ever present nature in which we float through our lives. It is the substance of all life, that which flows through each one of us as well.

 

Within the water are beautiful glass stones. Each one represents the experiences of Kevin and Kary’s lives. Each one individual with its own shape, color, and little inconsistency. Hearts, colors. Like our lives, each experience is a blessing, as it is surrounded by and immersed in Spirit.

 

The candle that floats upon the water represents two things. The coming together of two lives, to be joined together in love. It also represent the light that Kary and Kevin are to each other, shining ever so brightly, showing each other the way of love.

 

Kary and Kevin, May your lights always shine for each other, and as the song that you have chosen says, “Be the candle upon the water” for each other, the light that shines into any darkness that may pass through your lives, and paint a ray of hope around each other, and never let each other go.

 

Kary and Kevin light the individual candles, pause and then together light the floating candle as Steve plays “Candle on the Water”

 

Candle on the Water

 

I’ll be your candle on the water

My love for you will always burn

I know you were lost and drifting

But the clouds are lifting

Don’t give up you have somewhere to turn

 

I’ll be your candle on the water

Til ev’ry wave is warm and bright

My soul is there beside you

Let this candle guide you

Soon you’ll see a golden stream of light

 

When a cold and friendless tide has found you

Don’t let the stormy darkness pull you down

I’ll paint a ray of hope around you

Circling in the air lighted by a prayer

 

I’ll be your candle on the water

This flame inside of me will grow

Keep holding on, you’ll make it

Here’s my hand so take it

Look for me reaching out to show as sure as

rivers flow

 

I’ll never let you go

I’ll never let you go

I’ll never let you go

Christian and Buddhist

Posted on by DrToni

WEDDING CEREMONY

For Raphael & Dana

PROCESSIONAL

MUSIC – Pachelbel Canon in D Major

Raphael and Dana  have asked those of you who are most important to witness and to celebrate this marriage ceremony with them. They are taking the first step of their new beginning; their new life together.  Gathered with you in the presence of God, they have come to make public their love and commitment to live and grow together as husband and wife.  It is their wish that by being here today, we will all come to feel a real and intimate part of their declaration, and thus make it even more significant and powerful.

The ability and desire for one human being to love another is perhaps the most precious and fulfilling gift that has been entrusted to us. It is an all-consuming task, a lifelong endeavor.

Loving someone is a reason to stretch beyond our limits, to become more for the sake of the other. It is to look into the soul of your beloved and accept what you see. Loving is the ultimate commitment which challenges humans to become all that we are meant to be. As they join in marriage today, Raphael and Dana  are announcing to the world that they are welcoming that challenge.

Are you all willing  to show your support of the commitment they are making today?

Please say YES!

CONVOCATION –:

We are gathered here today to joyfully  celebrate and to add our support as two separate lives with their individual memories, desires, and hopes merge into one. We rejoice with them on this special day.  As a result of their marriage, WE are all becoming one Family.  This, then , is not on Wedding day, but a day to celebrate the coming together to create Family.

INTRODUCTIONS

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that fact now — by having each person here introduce him or herself to at least 2 other people who you DO NOT know —              but with whom after this day, you will share a common bond.

Love is one of the highest experiences that we can have, and adds great meaning to our lives. The day to day companionship, the real pleasure in doing things together, or   in doing separate things but delighting in the exchange of experiences, is a continuous and central part of what a man and a woman who love one another can share. This sharing should not diminish but should enhance the individuality of each partner.

We are here today, then to celebrate the love which Raphael and Dana  have for each other  and to add our recognition to their decision to accept each other totally and permanently.

Marriage is the joining of two lives, the mystical, physical, and emotional union of two human beings who have separate families and histories, separate tragedies and destinies. It is the merging and intermeshing not only of two persons, and two personalities, but also of two life stories.  Two   individuals, each of whom has a unique and life shaping past, willingly choose to set aside the solitary exploration of themselves to discover who they are in the presence of one another.

Raphael and Dana  have both  been on individual spiritual journeys for some time… Our Readings today represent the various Religions and Philosophies that have been part of their quest.

I welcome Peter Heatley to do the first READING representing the Episcopal and Christian traditions:

 

TONI:  Our second reading represents the Buddhist tradition that has also been part of both of their lives.

READING 2 — Donna’s brother

 

 

Marriage is a conscious choice of a greater connection into which two individuals, already whole and complete, now step.

The person that we choose to marry is someone we love, but his depths, her intimate intricacies, we will come to know only in the long unraveling of time. To our knowledge we add our willingness to embark on the journey of getting to know him, of coming to see her, ever so wonderfully more.

 

Even though you step today into a new life, you always bring your past – and who you have been up until now.

Toni: We now invite the fathers -Michael Heatley and Terry Tutaan to share some reflections on Raphael and Dana’s childhood days.

 

We now invite the mothers to speak for a moment about the gift they see their new son and daughter bringing to their lives.

CONNIE — to speak about DANA

ISABELLE – to speak about RAPHAEL

 

The Candlelighting Ceremony

The candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage. It is magical

because it represents the light of two people in love.  This candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it a flame.

We invite your parents to first light the separate candles – Symbolizing that  both must come together  giving spark of themselves, to create the new light.

and now – from these candles — light the ONE CANDLE –

As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout

your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness; warmth and

safety in the cold; and strength and joy in your bodies, minds, and spirit.

May your union be forever blessed.

 

 

We now invite David Heatley to do the Third reading coming from the Sidi Yoga tradition:

Moved by mutual attraction, appreciation, admiration, and a certain measure of recognition, we agree to come together for the mysterious future, to see where the journey will take us. This companionship on life’s journey is the hallmark of marriage, its natural province, its sweetest and most primal gift.

 

In marriage we are delivered from our most ancient aloneness  in which we are born, embraced in human company, creating the miracle of loving companionship.

 

Marriage is also the incubator of love, the protected environment in which a love that is personal and touching and real can grow and, as a consequence of that growth, develop in us our highest capabilities as loving human beings.  We are each still and always becoming, and when we marry, we promise not only our own becoming but also our willingness to witness and withstand the ongoing becoming of our partner.

 

In promising always, we promise each other time. We promise to exercise our love, to stretch it large enough to embrace the unforeseen realities of the future.  We promise to learn to love beyond the level of our instincts and inclinations, to love in foul weather as well as fine, in hard times as well as good.

 

We change because of these promises; we shape ourselves according to them; we live in their midst and live differently because of them; we feel protected because of them. Marriage, the bond, makes us ???

 

Toni:  Raphael and Dana, I have confidence in your love for and friendship with one another and I know that it will enable you to continue to grow individually and together. I support you – as I know we all do with our own deep and basic confidence.

You have chosen each other as partners in life’s journey.  Are you ready to be married?  If so, please say,  “We are”

 

The Consent

Raphael ,  do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Dana? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Dana all the loving support she needs to become the person she is destined to be?

RAPHAEL :”I do”

 

Dana, do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Raphael ? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Raphael  all the loving support he needs to become the person he is destined to be?

Dana: “I do”

 

I invite you then to offer each other your VOWS.

Raphael  first, then Dana

 

VOWS

 

To the congregation:

Will all of you, family and special friends, do everything you can to honor, uphold and care for Raphael  and Dana as they walk the sacred path of marriage?

 

RESPONSE:  We will.

This commitment is truly a Sacred union – it brings with it opportunities for growth, for full self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing any small idea you ever had about yourself and ultimately for true communion with God.

 

Let us pause now to listen to MUSIC as we reflect on the commitments each of us has made in our lives.

 

 

RINGS and ROSES

I’d now like to offer each of you a white rose.  It is a symbol of your larger understandings, of your spiritual nature, and your spiritual truth.  It stands for the purity of your Real and Highest Self, and for the purity of God’s love, which shines upon you now, and always,

 

Rev. Toni gives Dana the rose with Raphael ’s ring and Raphael , Dana’s.

 

What symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promised given and received today.

 

(They remove the rings and give them to Toni)

 

A circle is a symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the universe.  It is a symbol of holiness, and of perfection and peace.  It is also the symbol of the eternality of spiritual truth, love and life…that which has no beginning and no end.  And in this moment,

 

Raphael  and Dana choose for it to also be a symbol of unity, of joining, and of encirclement. These rings represent an inward belief and trust in togetherness. They express an outward sign of spirit and commitment, signifying to all who see them, the bonds of marriage the two of you share.

Now, Raphael  and Dana, take these rings you wish to give one to the other.

Raphael  – please repeat after me.

Dana, I offer you this ring// as a symbol of our marriage vows.// As you wear it,// know that I will love and cherish you always.

 

Dana – please repeat after me:
Raphael , I offer you this ring// as a symbol of our marriage vows.// As you wear it,// know that I will love and cherish you always.

Expression of Intent

 

Bride:  I do.

Will you promise to offer Raphael  your

Here’s another version without the roses —

Exchanging of the Rings:  “May we have the rings, please?”

 

The act of giving and receiving ring reminds us that love itself is an act of giving and receiving the most that life has to offer. These shining and eternal circles are the natural symbols for enduring love.  They represent an inward belief and trust in togetherness. They express an outward sign of spirit and commitment, signifying to all the bonds of marriage the two of you share. These rings are a symbol of the unbroken unity of Love now and forever to be manifested in your married life. The substance from which they are made symbolizes both great purity and great value, just as the love you share.

 

*Raphael places the ring on Dana’s ring finger. Then Dana places the ring on Raphael’s finger.

 

Repeat after me:

 

I offer you this ring/as a symbol of our marriage vows./As you wear it,/know that I will love and cherish you always.

 

Reading

 

And now ******** would like to share with you these words written a long time ago by the Apostle Paul in a letter to the Church at Corinth:

 

“There is nothing Love cannot face. No limit to its faith, its hope, its endurance.   In a word:  There are three things that last forever:  Faith, Hope, and Love…but the greatest of these is Love.”

 

 

Now, inasmuch as you, Raphael and Dana have consented together in the holy bonds of matrimony, and have pledged your faith to each other, and have witnessed the same before God and these your chosen witnesses;

 

By the authority vested in me by my ordination, and even more so, by the power of your own love and commitment to each other,

 

I now pronounce you husband and wife.  In the name of the One Living Spirit of God. Amen.

 

You may now kiss the Bride.

 

Bride and Groom Kiss

 

May I now present Mr. and Mrs. Raphael and Dana Heatley/LaMotta ???

 

 

 

African traditions with child

Posted on by DrToni

WEDDING TEMPLATE

 

Prelude –music

 

Welcome  by Rev. Toni

 

Processional – opening song (Marti?)

Hayden & parents

Akee

Joli

Danielle

Gina & Hayden with Zalika

 

Change music for bride to African Drumming

 

Ask her dad & mom: Who gives this woman in marriage?
response:  We do

 

Rev. Toni:   Hayden & Toni  have asked those of you who are most important to witness and to celebrate this marriage ceremony with them. They are taking the first step of their new beginning; their new life together.  Gathered with you in the presence of God, they have come to make public their love and commitment to live and grow together as husband and wife.  . It is their wish that by being here today, we will all come to feel a real and intimate part of their declaration, and thus make it even more significant and powerful.

 

The ability and desire for one human being to love another is perhaps the most precious and fulfilling gift that has been entrusted to us. It is an all-consuming task, a lifelong endeavor.

Loving someone is a reason to stretch beyond our limits, to become more for the sake of the other. It is to look into the soul of your beloved and accept what you see. Loving is the ultimate commitment which challenges humans to become all that we are meant to be. As they join in marriage today, Hayden & Toni  are announcing to the world that they are welcoming that challenge.

 

Are you all willing  to show your support of the commitment they are making today?

Please say YES!

 

CONVOCATION –:

We are gathered here today to joyfully celebrate and to add our support as two separate lives with their individual memories, desires, and hopes merge into one. We rejoice with them on this special day.  As a result of their marriage, WE are all becoming one Family.  This, then , is not on Wedding day, but a day to celebrate the coming together to create Family.

 

As a symbol of this joining – Candle lighting – fathers light candles – mothers speak about their child and wish for marriage

The candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage.  It is magical because it represents the light of two people in love.  This candle before you is truly a candle of commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it aflame.

 

We invite your fathers to light the candles—symbolizing that each of you come from separate and distinct pasts but are willing to now come together giving spark of themselves to create the new light.  As they light this candle which symbolizing two whole lives joined together, we all pray that the brightness represented by  this flame shine throughout your lives.

 

May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness, warmth and safety in the cold, and strength and joy in your bodies, minds and spirit.  May your union be forever blessed.

 

As the fathers are LIGHTING  THE CANDLES –

We invite the mothers to say a few words

 

Invocation – Rev. Toni does prayer

Let us pray:

Divine light that illumines our hearts and gives life to each cell of our being, we give thanks for the love that has gathered us together in this place

and especially for the beautiful, heartwarming love that Hayden & Toni share which led them to choose to be united in marriage.

We know and accept that the Power and the Love that is God is with them and with all of us who share in this lovely and sacred moment of their marriage.  We declare today that the Word we speak here today will bring forth in them all the strength and beauty and love they will need to make every word that they say here a living truth in their lives.  And so it is.  Amen.

 

 

  • Music: All I Ask of You from Phantom????? — suggestion

 

 

Reading – Danielle or Jimmy

This is just a SAMPLE idea – you can use any reading – perhaps one from the Bible?

Marriage has certain qualities of contract, in which two people take on the housekeeping tasks of

living, together, to enhance life’s joy.

 

However, marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take that joy deep,

deeper than happiness, deep into the discovery of who you most truly are. It is a commitment to a

spiritual journey, to a life of becoming-in which joy can comprehend despair, running through

rivers of pain into joy again.

 

And thus marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant — a covenant that says:

 

I love you.

 

I trust you.

 

I will be here for you when you are hurting, and when I am hurting, I will not leave.

 

It is a covenant intended not to provide haven from pain or from anger and sorrow. Life offers no

such haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk

living and sharing from the center of oneself. This is worth everything.

 

Margaret A. Keip

 

 

Song —  The PRAYER — Marti

 

Giving consent

SAMPLE –

The Consent

Hayden ,  do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Toni? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Toni all the loving support she needs to become the person she is destined to be?

Hayden :”I do”

 

Toni, do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Toni ? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Hayden all the loving support he needs to become the person he is destined to be?

Toni: “I do”

 

This commitment is truly a Sacred union – it brings with it opportunities for growth, for full self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing any small idea you ever had about yourself and ultimately for true communion with God.

 

Vows

–I invite you to offer your vows to each other-

 

Let us pause now to listen to MUSIC as we reflect on the commitments each of us has made in our lives.

Marti sings….

 

 

Vows

 

Ring ceremony

Toni:  May I have the rings please.

The act of giving and receiving rings reminds us that love itself is an act of giving and receiving the most that life has to offer. Traditionally, the marking of the passage to the status of husband and wife is marked by the exchange of rings.  These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love.  Love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver for each is the giver and each is the receiver.  May these rings always remind you the vows you have taken today.

 

Hayden, as you place the ring on Toni’s hand,  please repeat after me:

 

Toni, I love you as no other. // All that I am, I will share with you. //  This ring I give you, //as a sign of my love and commitment to you. // Receive and wear this ring,// as a symbol of my faith and trust in you. // Before this community of  our family and friends,// I take you to be my wife.//

 

Toni, as you place the ring on Hayden’s hand, please repeat after me:

 

Hayden,  I love you as no other. // All that I am, I will share with you. //  This ring I give you, //as a sign of my love and commitment to you. // Receive and wear this ring,//

as a symbol of my faith and trust in you. // Before this community of our family and friends,// I take you to be my husband.//

 

 

Baby blessing

Who presents this child for Christening?

We do.

 

Toni:

“This christening is a recognition of the infinite power of the Spirit in each child. The seed of perfection is implanted in every child and awaits only its recognition for its outpouring of Truth, and the complete expression of good in each one.

 

This consecration   service welcomes This child, Zalika into our family.    It is an outward expression which reveals that Unity of Spirit within. We recognize that this child came forth from God-a Divine Being.  That perfection exists within this child and that this child’s purity of being is God incarnated in, through, and as this child.   Our blessing service symbolizes our conscious immersion in the Life Stream of God.  Our Oneness with God.  That we can never be separated from God.  That this soul on its new adventure of Life shall live and move and have his being  in God.  He shall always be in that all  embracing circle of Divine Love.”

Gina & Robert In presenting  Zalika for blessing, do you acknowledge  the unity of  God and man?

 

Gina & Robert-    We do.

 

Do you acknowledge that the Spirit of God and the Spirit of  Man  is united as one being and that we, as spiritual beings, manifest the creative power of God and that keeping the mind set on the positive Good brings joy and happiness to life?

 

Gina & Robert-   We do.

 

:   Will you teach This child the Truth of its Being, that from childhood it may realize its unity with God?

 

Gina & Robert-  We will.

 

Will you do this not only by word, but by example so that your child may learn to live joyously, creatively and harmoniously?   Will you do this to the best of your ability?

 

– We will.

 

Toni Dr. dip rose in water and says:

” I bless you Zalika in the name of the God within you, and of the moving, Creative Principle of all life.”

 

I dedicate this child to the care and keeping and to the way that perfect intelligence may guide and direct him and  unfailing Love may draw her into the ways of eternal happiness.  I dedicate this child to God’s perfect care and keeping.  God’s strength upholds him.  God’s presence fills her.  May he be guided by perfect intelligence and directed by unfailing love into the ways of day by day happiness.

AND SO IT IS.

 

Song:  God’s Masterpiece

 

 

The Rose

 

It is now my special privilege to present you with a special gift as husband and wife.  In the language of flowers, a red rose is the symbol of love and my gift to you is the gift of Love.  It would be our hope that wherever you may make your home, there be an especially appointed place in it for red roses.  And that on each succeeding anniversary of your wedding day, you celebrate it, at least in part, by each of you bringing to the appointed place a red rose, as a re-statement of love, and a re-commitment of the vows you made to one another and before all here present.  Also, in every marriage, it is occasionally difficult to find words to resolve certain issues which may arise, and if and when such issues might come to your marriage, if either one of you will remember and bring to the special place a red rose, the other will see it, accept it and understand it as a statement of love.

 

JOIN us now in Prayer:

 

Aware that there is one presence and power, and that we are each part of this unity, we now join in blessing Hayden & Toni in the continuing of their lives together.  We recognize that the presence of God’s grace within them enables them to fulfill the promise of God’s true partnership in life.  We know and affirm that they live in joy and love.

And now – I  recognize with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. Neither my church, nor any power vested in me by the State, can grant me the authority to declare what only two hearts can declare, and what only two souls can make real.

 

And so now, inasmuch as you, Toni, and you, Hayden  have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of these, your family, friends, and the One Living Spirit, –we observe joyfully that you have declared yourselves to be husband and wife.

 

You may now kiss one another.

Actual wedding pronouncements

 

Indian prayer – butterfly release

 

Butterfly Ceremony

 

Jimmy  is passing out a small package – one per family.  Inside is a beautiful butterfly.  In a moment, we will all release them together as a closing blessing to the new family.  You need only open the package wide enough for the wings to flap.

 

As the Indian Legend goes:
If anyone desires a wish to come true, they must first capture a butterfly and whisper that wish to it.  Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly can not reveal the wish to anyone but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all.

In gratitude for giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great Spirit always grants the wish.  So, according to the legend, by making a wish and giving the butterfly its freedom, the wish will be taken to the heavens and be granted.

 

Today we have gathered to grand this couple all our best wishes and as we set these butterflies free, I invite you to hold this new family in your highest blessing in the trust that all these wishes will be granted.

 

As I present to you for the first time, Mr. & Mrs. ??  and their beautiful daughter, Zalika, I invite you to RELEASE THE BUTTERFLIES!

 

MUSIC

 

 

May I now present to you

Mr. & Mrs.

 

 

African Drums – recessional

 

Wilson Wedding – older couple

Posted on by DrToni

MARGIE AND BOB’S WEDDING

October 26, 2002  Sarasota, Fl

 

WEDDING MARCH – Jeff Lance

Margie and Bob have invited you, their family and special friends to witness and to celebrate this marriage ceremony with them. Gathered with you in the presence of God, they have come to make public their love and commitment to live and grow together.  It is their wish that by being here today, we will all come to feel a real and intimate part of their declaration, and thus make it even more significant and powerful.

The ability and desire for one human being to love another is perhaps the most precious and fulfilling gift that has been entrusted to us. It is an all-consuming task, a lifelong endeavor.

Loving someone is a reason to stretch beyond our limits, to become more for the sake of the other. It is to look into the soul of your beloved and accept what you see. Loving is the ultimate commitment which challenges humans to become all that we are meant to be. As they join in marriage today, Margie and Bob are announcing to the world that they are welcoming that challenge.

Let us join now in prayer to show our support of the commitment they are making today.

INVOCATION –:

We acknowledge the Presence of Love and in that presence, we recognize the love that Margie and Bob share. In this moment, each of us here joyfully celebrate and add our support as these two separate lives with their individual memories, desires, and hopes merge into one. We know and accept for them happiness and contentment as they join their lives and explore the depths of their love for one another. We call upon a blessing for their families and friends and the relationships which have supported, strengthened and sustained them throughout their lives.

Today and always, we acknowledge God, the Good, and know that the love that brought them here today will sustain them for the rest of their days.  AMEN          

READING

Marriage is the joining of two lives. It is the merging of two distinct personalities and two life stories. Two individuals, each of whom has a unique and life shaping past, willingly choose to set aside the solitary exploration of themselves to discover who they are in the presence of one another.

 

Margie and Bob, I have confidence in your love for and friendship with one another and I know that it will enable you to continue to grow individually and together. I support you – as I know we all do with our own deep and basic confidence.

You have chosen each other as partners in life’s journey.  Are you ready to be married?  If so, please say,  “We are”

 

The Consent

Bob, do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Margie? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Margie all the loving support she needs to become the person she is destined to be?

BOB:”I do”

 

Margie, do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and with the conscious desire to be united in marriage with Bob? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Bob all the loving support he needs to become the person he is destined to be?

Margie: “I do”

 

I invite you then to offer each other your VOWS.

Bob first, then Margie

 

VOWS

 

 

To the congregation:

Will all of you, family and special friends, do everything you can to honor, uphold and care for Bob and Margie as they walk the sacred path of marriage?

 

RESPONSE:  We will.

This commitment is truly a Sacred union – it brings with it opportunities for growth, for full self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing any small idea you ever had about yourself and ultimately for true communion with God.

 

RINGS

What symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promised given and received today.

(Bob gives the rings to Toni)

 

A circle is a symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the universe.  It is a symbol of holiness, and of perfection and peace.  It is also the symbol of the eternality of spiritual truth, love and life…that which has no beginning and no end.  And in this moment, Bob and Margie choose for it to also be a symbol of unity, of joining, and of encirclement. These rings represent an inward belief and trust in togetherness. They express an outward sign of spirit and commitment, signifying to all who see them, the bonds of marriage the two of you share. 

Now, Bob and Margie, take these rings you wish to give one to the other.

 

Bob & Margie together– please repeat after me.

Bob/ Margie, //I offer you this ring// as a symbol of our marriage vows.// As you wear it,// know that I will love and cherish you always.

 

 

CLOSING PRAYER

At this moment as you begin your life together as husband and wife, I know each one of us gathered here gives thanks for the opportunity to bless you Margie and Bob. 

 

We know our faith-filled prayers carry great power.  So, in our mind’s eye we now see you, Margie and Bob,  as God knows you to be, — happy, peaceful, whole, free, fulfilled, prosperous and ever radiating the Love you both are.

 

This prayer is our gift to you, not just now, but as we think of you in the days, months and years to come, we will thank God in our hearts that a greater Love is assured in this world because of the commitment you have made here today. 


We are grateful in seeing this vision for you, for in seeing it, we claim it for ourselves as well.  Truly we celebrate in the Mirror of your Love. And so we say… THANK YOU  Margie and Bob..  Thank you God.   AMEN.

 

 

 

 

 

RECOGNITION of MARRIAGE

And now – I  recognize with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. Neither my church, nor any power vested in me by the State, can grant me the authority to declare what only two hearts can declare, and what only two souls can make real.

       And so now, inasmuch as you, Bob, and you, Margie have announced what is already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of these, your family, friends, and the One Living Spirit, –we observe joyfully that you have declared yourselves to be husband and wife.

 

YOU MAY NOW KISS ONE ANOTHER

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you

The Happy Couple –    Margie & Bob

 

 

Readings for Weddings

Posted on by DrToni

 

  1. Reading – Untitled poem, by Jelaluddin Rumi
    read by

You that love Lovers, this is your home.
Welcome!
Today is a festival!
Clap your hands and say, ‘This is a day of happiness!’
Who in the world is like this bridal pair?

The voices of Love are approaching from all sides.
We are on our way to heaven!
Once upon a time we played with angels.
Let’s all go back up there again.

The earth and the sky are full of sugar.
Sugar cane is sprouting all around.
Watch the dust grains moving in the light.
Their dance is our dance.
We rarely hear the inward music,
but we’re all dancing to it nevertheless,
directed by what teaches us,
the pure joy of the sun,
our Music Master.

11 Questions a Wedding Officiant is Going to Ask You

Posted on by DrToni

You may have lots of questions for your wedding officiant—but they’re also going to have questions for you! Make sure you’re well-prepared and have your answers ready!

Jaimie Mackey

Jaimie Mackey

42

 

bride and groom stand with their officiant at the altar while laughing
TIM WATERS PHOTOGRAPHY

 

If you’re getting married, chances are you’ll need a wedding officiant – and it turns that that wedding officiants usually have lots of questions for couples. Whether your wedding is religious or secular, your officiant will want to know what type of ceremony you want, as well as the story of you. It is, after all, those personal details that bring your loved ones to tears as you exchange vows. Getting ready to hire an officiant for your wedding day?

Here are a few of the most common wedding officiant questions for couples.

When, Where, and Who?

This may be one of the most obvious wedding officiant questions for a couple. Says celebrant Robin Eisenberg of Elkins Park, Pennsylvania, “The purpose of ‘when’ is to determine if I’m available on the date and time of their wedding and to see how far in advance the wedding is. The purpose of ‘where’ is to get a general idea about the formality of the wedding, determine how much travel is involved for me to get to the venue, and to know if I’ve worked at that venue before. The answers help me decide if this is a wedding I want to, and am able, to pursue. And the ‘who’ question is because generally one member of the couple contacts me but doesn’t tell me who the other member is! Before I meet with the couple, it’s helpful to know how to greet them.”

What role do your families play in your lives?

“I try to get a sense of how connected the couple is to their families, or how estranged,” says Eisenberg. “It also gives me a sense of how many family members are involved in the ceremony. Sometimes the couple was introduced by family members, which is a fun story to share. And I always like to acknowledge the parents in the ceremony by name, so this helps me properly express the couples’ appreciation for them.”

How do you want to remember your ceremony? What do you want your friends and family to remember?

“My objective is to develop the ideal ceremony for a specific couple, so I ask a lot of different questions to figure out what that will look like. Perfect is different for each couple, and directly asking them to describe their perfect ceremony isn’t always effective, so this is a good way to work backwards into the ceremony,” says Rabbi Linda Portnoy Goldberg of White Plains, New York.

What have you seen at other weddings that you liked or not liked?

Imitation is the highest form of flattery! “I watch carefully to see what couples casually toss out and what lights up their eyes. Was it elegant? Fun? Participative? Traditional? I learn a lot from these answers, and the better they can identify elements that they love, the better I can craft the details to meet their goals,” Rabbi Goldberg explains.

How did you meet? When did you fall in love?

An important wedding officiant question for couples is probably one you’ve answered many times before—how you met! “Often, they way the couple met and later fell in love, and how they tell those stories, gives me both a way to begin telling their story and leads to the theme of their wedding ceremony. Who planned the first date? Who fell in love first? Is the location of the first date important? Is this a relationship built on surprise and adventure or one more focused on being at home with each other?” Eisenberg explains.

How did you get engaged?

“Each half of the couple often has a slightly different recollection of the engagement story,” says Eisenberg. “One may insist it was Wednesday, while the other might say it was Tuesday. I like to hear the differences. I also like to know if the proposer did something grand or simple. Was the proposee surprised? Was the proposal expected? Who chose the ring? All these elements are important in defining who the couple is, both as individuals and together. Retelling the engagement story can also add a touch of humor to the ceremony, or it might be so touching that everyone starts crying. Both are good!”

How would you describe your partner?

“I ask each person to email me a description of their partner and what they like best about him or her – with specific examples,” says Rabbi Goldberg. “I want to know how they are different or similar, and often use the Positive Psychology list of 24 character traits (e.g., generosity, humor, humility, curiosity) and ask them for the other’s signature strengths.”

Who are the best man and maid of honor?

“I ask my couples to ramble on about these people a little bit, telling me why they chose them,” says Dr. Rev. Cynthia Capaccio of Boynton Beach, Florida. After all, these people are standing next to you for a reason!

Who are your guests? How do they fit into your lives?

“Are they friends, family members, or work connections?” asks Rabbi Goldberg. The relationship you have with your guests will impact how they relate back to the content of your ceremony.

Do you want your ceremony to include any traditional prayers?

Says Eisenberg, “I didn’t always ask this question but, having written a lovely contemporary ceremony for a couple who weren’t connected to their religions, they decided after reading the ceremony that they really did want to honor their Catholic traditions. We were able to have prayers and Biblical excerpts read by family members and we included God in their marriage vows. So now I ask as a way to include those aspects throughout the ceremony planning process.”

Are there any traditions or rituals you’d like to include? Any you want to leave out?

Your ceremony should reflect you and your partner—so be prepared to answer these important wedding officiant questions as a couple. “I want to be able to incorporate the rituals or traditions each half of the couple wants into their ceremony,” says Eisenberg. “This is particularly important for interfaith couples, who want to create a unified ceremony that is connected to their pasts or to their families’ observances. Another reason for this question is that the couple may say they want a Unity Ritual, but aren’t sure what kind. I’ll work with them to design a ritual that is appropriate for them and that takes into consideration the location and theme of their wedding. The other reason for this question is to determine if there is some research I need to do to enable me to lead the activity they want. If the couple wants a ‘tie the knot’ ritual and I’ve never done that before, I need to learn how and practice.”

How To Conduct A Memorial Service

Posted on by DrToni

A good funeral requires the sensitivity and comfort only a minister can provide. Families have just lost loved ones, either tragically taken or have suffered through long illnesses.  They are searching for comfort. No matter how old a person has lived or how long a family has prepared for the departure of their loved ones, it is still “too sudden” for many family members.

There are times in the minister’s life when they acalled upon him to comfort the family.  These may be during times of disasters, senseless deaths involving crimes, a death of a child, the loss of the main provider in the home, wartime casualties, etc. Family member often are looking for answers or reasons why this has just happened, as well as seeking comfort.

The role of the pastor is vital during these crucial times. A pastor’s role is more than just speaking words of comfort, it is listening and being there when family members need you the most. New pastors often feel uncomfortable and unsure whether their words will bring comfort. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you along the way. The most important thing you can do is to allow them to know you care and are there for them. Before leaving their home, hospital, or funeral home, make sure you have a time of prayer with them.

 

Listed below are ideas that may be able to help you during this time. Again, allow the Holy Spirit to guide you as you prepare for this homecoming ceremony.

 

  • Meet with the family. Tell them who you are in case they are not all familiar with you. Let them know that you will be conducting the ceremony.

 

  • If you are not familiar with the person you are conducting the service for, get to know them. Spend time with the family. Allow them to share things about the deceased person. It is good for people to talk. It allows people to grieve and honor that person. Visit with friends of the deceased and ask them for special stories or memories of the deceased, this will help you get a better idea of who the person was and give you materials for your message.

 

  • Personalize your message! This is not a 3 part sermon. Use stories and illustrations that family and friends have shared. Funerals are more about the living and helping them. It is also a time to honor their loved one.

 

  • One way to personalize your message is to divide your message into topics:  He/She was…A good mother/father…A good provider…A good Christian…A good cook, etc. using the stories that the family has provided you.

 

  • Look at all the elements that go into a service and see what the family wants to include and not include. These are the elements, other pastors they want to be involved in the service, special songs, music, poems, or scripture readings, obituary, testimonials, sermon, and benediction.

 

  • Decide on scripture readings that either meant something to the person who died or that you think will bring comfort to the family. In some cases you will want to use both of these types of scriptures.

 

  • Before the service, ask the family if there is anyone who wants to give a testimony or eulogy about the person who has died. Be sure to give that person as much help as he or she wants or needs.

 

  • Choose music that will lift the spirits of those in the congregation. Also be mindful that if there was a special hymn that meant something to the person who died and is appropriate, use it.

 

  • Be mindful in your sermon that this is a time to express what the person meant to his family as well as how much his family meant to them. Share the stories of the deceased life’s at this time.

 

  • Before the actual service, have a special prayer with the family.

 

  • Seating will be conducted by the funeral home. Be sure to ask the congregation to stand when family members are being seated to honor them. You can do this by standing and using your hands to signal for congregation to stand and when to sit down.

 

  • Don’t be jealous or insecure when working with other ministers. Get to know them before the service. Be sure you pronounce their name correctly.

 

  • Be sure you pronounce all family names properly. Go over the obituary beforehand and ask family members how to pronounce other family member’s names. Make notes to ensure the correctness.

 

  • After the service has concluded, the funeral home directors will either open the casket or take it out to the foyer or cemetery. If there is an open casket, it is customary for the minister to stand and greet the people viewing the deceased for the last time. A minister will be standing at the head of the open casket.

 

  • After the viewing has been completed and the funeral directors have closed the casket, lead those carrying the casket out to the hearse. Sometimes you may be the one to open the door of the hearse. Sometimes the minister will ride in the hearse to the cemetery. Driving your personal car is permitted.

 

  • Again, lead the ones carrying the casket to the burial plot. At the burial plot, stand at the head of the casket if possible. (Be careful of where you step and stand due to ground being soft).

 

  • At the cemetery, allow time for everyone to be seated before beginning. Sometimes the funeral director will indicate when it is time to begin. Be mindful of the weather. If there is a tent, get as many people under the tent as possible.

 

  • A short message at the cemetery is customary. If more than one minister conducts the service with you, allow them to give scripture, recite a poem, or perhaps sing a hymn.   Provide a short message, such as reading Psalms 23 and sharing additional words of comfort. Most ministers suggest a message of about 5 minutes.

 

  • Be sure to shake hands and give encouraging words with immediate family members. Remain to greet others and be available for family members. Give them your card and ask them to call if they need you.

 

TIPS:

  • It is customary for the church to provide a meal. Delegate this to someone in charge. Mention this to the family during the process of gathering stories or comforting the family.

 

  • Talk slowly and be sensitive of their loss. People grieve differently. Offer the assurance and comfort through Jesus Christ.

 

  • Check back with family members the days before the funeral as well as after the funeral. Allow them to know you and tell them that the church cares for their feelings and loss.

 

  • Provide materials/books on grieving if needed. Provide counseling or suggest a Christian counselor if needed.